a Double-Edged Sword

2006-11-02T21:48:00.000-08:00

this blog has moved.
catch me if you can.

Hosea

2006-10-31T10:08:00.000-08:00

I'm reading Hosea these last couple of days. 2 passages have stuck out to me as significant/instructional for me at the moment:

"Plant the good seeds of righteouesness and you will reap a crop of My loe; Plow the hard ground of your hearts for now is the time to seek the Lord, that He may come and shower salvation upon you." Hosea 10:12

It's not an easy thing, that tilling the ground of my own heart...it's something that I naturally lean on the Lord to do by a Spirit of conviction, or others to do for me through accountability and observation. In what ways can I assume a more active role in this process? What does that look like?

The other Scripture is this:

"Oh come back to the Lord, live by the principles of love and justice, and always be expecting much from Him, your God." Hosea 12:6

(these are drawn from The Living Bible, by the way, I decided to go old school!)

So what are the principles of love and justice? I just thought about love God with everything you have, and love your neighbor, as well as the 1 John passage, to love with actions and in truth...the justice, I think of Micah 6 - be fair and just and merciful, and walk humbly with God.

And then, 'expect much from Him, your God." What do I expect from God in the first place? Mostly just that He'd keep me happy and safe. I rarely ask for what's coming, nations, perspective and so on. Just living in the now.

This entire mindset became garishly apparent to me these last weeks as I take on my husband in Monopoly. He wins every stinkin' time, and why? Because he is not just thinking of 'now' he's thinking of 5 rolls from now. 20 min. from now. Looking at what I'm doing, where Im going, what properties I'm collecting and trying to thwart those plans, while prospering his own. Yup. Every time. He says it's 'the anointing' and he can't help himself but to win, and I actually agree with him - his spiritual giftings and callings apostolically have pre-disposed him to win at games that involve strategy, risk-taking and long term thinking - like Monopoly, but it also emphasizes my lack of those traits...

*sigh* maybe I should start praying in that direction. Not so that I can become just like Rob and win against him, but so that I can increase my general awareness of what is going on around me and up my ante/involvement in my own life. That can't be a bad thing at all.
Or we could just buy a new boardgame...

2006-10-19T16:22:00.000-07:00

Counting the cost..it's a big deal, eh?

Back in the summer, I went to be a part of the Old Orchard Beach brigade. It was a good time. It was good to be with close friends and to be dusted off. One of the words of wisdom that was shared with me, was on that very subject...counting the cost. I was in a place where I felt like God was stretching me just too thin and I wasn't okay with it - and I'm not talking about being 'out of my comfort zone' but more like, God, I've always trusted you, but right now, it's all just a bit too much. Slow down please, I need a break. I need to pause and catch my breath and check out my surroundings and get some perspective.

The word was just this...it's okay to be in that place of pause. It's not letting go of God, it's not turning my back on Him, disagreeing with Him or backsliding...its saying hold on a sec please!

that was very reassuring to me...because I didn't feel as though I was being disobedient, but my legalistic self, my logical mind got me going, saying that I didn't love God enough, and didn't trust Him enough. blahblah.

If this whole Christian life is about relationship, not just works and blind obedience alone, then why would I think that my God, as a responsible Father, would grab me by the hand and begin to drag me along, lecturing me and chewing me out the whole way because I'm not 'good' enough or 'quick' enough or 'instantaneously obedient' enough...if what I preach to others is true, than God can't be like that.

So I'm learning to allow yourself to withdraw to a quiet place of retreat with Jesus and let myself believe that He'll love me just as much if I quit all of this and went to work at McDonalds (not that there is anything wrong with that...but i think it's safe to say that it's my your calling) for the rest of my life. He would. Wouldn't He? :-)

Therefore, I wil not let my fear not control me...but think on Love. There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment...if what's holding me back from going deeper is the fear that I won't measure up and why bother asking for a second blessing if I'm never going to be able to maintain it (for example) then I'm missing the love factor.

Fear wants me to be afraid of God's punishment when I mess up, but I shouldn't be afraid in that place, because even there, it's all about love. To not lose courage and give up and faint when I am reproved or corrected by Him; For the Lord corrects and disciplines everyone whom He loves, and He punishes, even scourges, every son whom He accepts and welcomes to His heart and cherishes.

That's a pretty special place to be, eh? Welcomed into His heart? Cherished? Wow. When you have a disciple, you want to keep them on a narrow track of discipline so that they can be trained in the Lord's ways. You will be quick to rebuke anger, hate, racism, gossip, self-deprecation, cursing, lewd comments and so on, right? Over and over until they get out of those old habits and into new ones. In the same way, God the Holy Spirit will be all over me to convict me of old habits over and over and over so that He can usher in new ones. The end result is GREAT!

When I look around me at other disciples, it's apparents that everyone gets the same process. So I take heart in that. And then I look forward and set my face like flint and know that I will not be put to shame...

2006-09-06T19:23:00.000-07:00

Recently I emailed a friend of mine with my tale of woe, and this was her lovely response...

A couple of days ago when Rob and I were doing some housecleaning, I put on an old newsboys cd of mine, that i had bought right after I met Jesus and was filled with Holy Spirit.? I was so excited! So light and happy! i felt sad, wondering, what happened?? I feel weighed down by responsibility and expectation and failure and strategy and things I don't understand that are just waiting to trip me up.

When we are first saved Jesus always woos us with those kind of feelings...it is the experience of new life! You still have that life but now Jesus shares His responsibilities with you. The trick is to get under the yoke that Jesus offers, it's easy and His burden is light! Roll them onto the Lord sis! I feel like your strategy just needs to be the beautiful Heather that you are.....that's what people are attracted to. Just love people into the Kingdom. Forget about the global world winning strategy and just win your little patch....you're already doing that! I... think it can be a burden if Jesus hasn't given it specifically to you. The great commission says "as you go, make disciples" so start there and Yahweh will let you know when to move on!

Praise the Lord for the wisdom of the saints...

a different sort of fast...

2006-09-06T06:56:00.000-07:00

Do you fast? Give me proof of it by your works.
If you see a poor man, take pity on him.
If you see a friend being honoured, do not envy her.

Do not let only your mouth fast,
but also the eye and the ear and the feet and the hands
and all the members of our bodies.

Let the hands fast, by being free of avarice.
Let the feet fast, by ceasing to run after sin.
Let the eyes fast, by discipling them not to glare at that which is sinful.
Let the ear fast, by not listening to evil talk and gossip.
Let the mouth fast from foul words and unjust criticism.

For what good is it if we abstain from birds and fishes, but bite and
devour our brothers and sisters?

May He who came to the world to save sinners, strengthen us to
complete the fast with humility, have mercy on us and save us."

St. John Crysostom

2006-09-02T13:11:00.000-07:00

I see Your angels equipping these armies with mighty weapons of warfare.

I see troops of men and women in different ranks who are putting your weapons in their arsenal.

Let the anointing come now, Lord. Let the double portion of Your Holy Spirit come and touch us.

Let Your sons and daughters receive anointing and grace to fast and pray. And may the anointing...be imparted to those reading these words and praying this prayer right now.

I see this army marching, Lord.
We are marching to take the cities for Jesus!

We are marching to take the Lords' Name to every realm and to every corner of the earth - east, west, north, south. The Army of God is advancing and every demon must bow to the Name of Jesus as the anointed army comes with Your mighty weapons of warfare.

Lord God, we commit ourselves this day to use these weapons faithfully.
Lord, I pray that these pastors and leaders in Your army will see that they are generals in the army of God.
Place within them, Lord God, the divine wisdom they need to lead their portion of the army into victory.
Thank you for the total victory, Lord Jesus.

~excerpted from The Hidden Power of Prayer and Fasting, Mahesh Chavda

this explains everything...read on

2006-08-18T14:22:00.000-07:00

tumultuous -that fits my mental state
down - that describes my defenses
lazy - that describes my body
selfish - that defines my mindset..

So I'm starting up my pilgramage again just by walking.
walking away from home and towards the centre - anticipating Jesus all along the way..

I made a decision yesterday
I had a conversation
I prayed a prayer
I had a dream

and so to begin to clear out my mind, I walk.

Walking through my journal entries over the past year - what has God said? what have I heard? where am I at? where are we going?

read on...

August 7, 2006 - Atlanta Airport

2006-08-18T07:35:00.000-07:00

I love you Lord - Old Orchard Beach was such a time of work for Your Kingdom!
I loved listening/looking at people to see the Word on/in them. Elaine really encouraged me in it, and You know a little encouragement can do a lot for me.

When I arrived here in the ATL airport, man was I full of joy! All of the black faces were so beautiful to me - having been rather scarce in Maine.
Every face I looked into, I saw something beautiful, it is your heart of love and adoration for an entire people group. You did that Dad, and I'm glad that you did.

immaturity - July 29, 2006

2006-08-18T07:20:00.000-07:00

Lord - i'm struggling with all this stuff inside of me. This weekend being with the girls, it was all awkward. I said things that Holy Spirit said specifically not to say, because of timing, but i said them anyway because I wanted a certain result. To control a situation and make my hurting friends "all better". So they would be able to grab onto the belt of truth as it's thrown out in love and walk out of where they are at.
Except it really didn't go that way at all.
Elaine's whole thing about us all coming here wounded is true. I feellike I'm pulled in directions of trying to share difficulties and make this about me so that i can receive prayer and healing and just have fun and not be heavy and serious and sharing what I'm learning and hearing to edify others and then speak truth into their lies and fix them. Or help them to detangle themselves. It's just that all those things tried to come out all at once this afternoon.
Not a pretty sight.
So much for putting off a good image - like I've got it all together...

I have a fear that we'll each fall to pieces and we won't be able to mend one another, even when we are together in person and people will just begin to slip away...and then what?
Why build a community in Charlotte when what was established in Vancouver 4 years ago has developed this way?
It's a humpty dumpty thing...
We sat on the wall
We had a great fall
All the king's horses, all the king's men
Couldn't put us together again

Only the KING can do that. God this is a cry from deep in me...soften and soothe our hearts so that we let you in to do your healing work...

dog tired - July 28, 2006

2006-08-18T07:08:00.000-07:00

Dusting off today in Old Orchard Beach was good in the sense that apparently I'm normal for feeling overwhelmed and I'm not weak or backslidden for taking time to stop and say "whoa Lord, I need to stop for a breath" that's good news.

Elaine also invoked the blessing for the new mother and prayed for an increase in love.

Hmm. I'm disliking this parent stuff so far. Kids (whether they are born naturally or are adopted in the Spirit) are rude, argumentative, unkind...difficult to handle. Especially as spiritual teenagers. I shudder to think at some of the ways that I've treated my spiritual parents. Now I am getting a taste for how that feels.

it stinks. I guess it's a good thing that Elaine prayed some more love and stuff into me cuz at the moment, I've little to give out in that department.

Anyways, back to the moment. It's amazing how peaceful I feel, not just hafter the dusting off (I had my hands and feet washed) but even in the stillness of this little hotel room, laptop playing chilled out music and no distractions. Home is not like this. Must I still get to this place at home? I don't know. Or, I don't know how...

july 20, 2006

2006-08-18T06:43:00.000-07:00

Soon I'll be in Vancouver again...there's lots for me to look forward to in that. there's also lots of preparation for that. Not just for a class and a sermon, but fortification of my armour, a girding so that I will be a battlement there, not an opening or a diversion.

gird - prepare and strengthen onself for what is to come

battlement - parapet with gaps for firing from, forming part of a fortification

fortification/fortify - strengthen a place with defensive structures as protection against attack, invigorate or enlarge, strengthen with extra alcohol, make more nutritious by adding vitamins

I like that picture - my presence in the DTES being a fortification because the whole 'me' package brings a different flavour to the body - made more nutritous by the adding of a saint...forming a part of the kingdom fortification there, or re-asserting the position I had when I left.

Lord break me and remind me to want to prepare. I'm so easily distracted to other things. Especially housework because that has a definite beginning, end and immediate results, so it's satisfying. There's peace for me in that.

So onwards and upwards into study - which I actually really like but have been believing the lies of the devil and have convinced myself are tedious and boring. HA what a trip! I used to spend hours in The War Room with the lexicon and concordance and a bunch of different translations...

July 18, 2006

2006-08-17T21:51:00.000-07:00

this morning Rob and I were worshipping together in a time of rations.

He's worshipping with guitar and singing and as always, is swept right into the Holy Presence. I've been more reluctant to jump into the flow, but instead am captivated bu all the photos on our wall. There's a lot of history there, even if it hasn't been years and years - so, recollecting people and places - the steps of the Carnegie, Street Church, re:Cre8, radio station cafe, that Indian restaurant in Tinseltown, Granville Street, the skytrain, the Empress, Heatley Residence, the Bottle Depot, Harbourlight, Homestead...

In considering all of that, and looking at Rob, I realized that he's sitting on top of a great pile of experience and accomplishment. He is a great man - not because of who he is, but for his obedience to the Lord and his willingness to walk through the hard places just to please God...yup, there's a lot under his belt.

And under mine too.

Then God brought this eye-opener:
How can the devil convince me that i am nothing, have nothing to offer and am doing nothing when I have already done many things?

No...I am the sum of more than the past 6 months, 9 months or 1 year. London, Vancouver, London, Charlotte and beyond..as the Lord calls.

"Jehovah is His Name - oh rejoice in His presence..." Ps. 68:4

'What a glorious Lord! He who daily bears our burdens also gives us our salvation. He frees us! He rescues us from death.." verse 19,20

"O God, you have done such mighty things for us..." v28b

2006-07-17T14:11:00.000-07:00

hello all.
well, what a week it's been. I suppose it's been almost two since my last post. I had a God encounter 2 Saturdays ago that flipped my perspective in a good way, and I felt like i got back on track. Praise the Lord.

That's the thing though, about all of this spiritual life that we live - very rarely do I experience this instant deliverance when it comes to beliefs - I have experienced instant deliverance from behaviours, but the way I think and see myself and others and the world around me is more slo-mo. So these past several days have seen some serious combat. Mostly because I let seeds grow within me that were ungodly and now it's a matter of uprooting the tree that has been allowed to grow, the roots that have sunk deep and that have woven themselves through my memories and coloured my experiences.
As much as I rebuke those lies within myself, sometimes seeing victory by a mile, sometimes by the skin of my teeth and sometimes not at all...there is also the external influences. Demonic encounters designed to send me spiralling downward into a place of inadequacy, impotence and despair. Paralyzed to do anything for myself or others besides washing a few dishes and making the bed.

Such an occasion was planned for today. Location- finance office at the area command. Subject- tracking our ministry expenses. Which is one of my responsibilities - but I suck really really big, and am praying for good to send someone who has a mind for that stuff.
Anyways, it was all just a real bear. Bizarre flare-up from the finance guy that left ny husband and I in wonder.

We were able to talk about it afterward, and he pointed out the whole scheme as it played out was really an attack directed at me and my confidence level. I didn't burst into tears in the guy's office, so I felt that I had faired rather well. It opened a door for communication in my marriage relationship for me to talk about my paralysis in ministry. And for the first time in a long long time, we were able to reason it out with the Lord. I got to share and felt heard. He provided input and I received it. Afterward we celebrated with milkshakes.

Seriously, this working out of salvation for me, looks like working demonic strongholds out of my life. No easy feat. Yet, I guess that the next time this comes around, I'll be a little bit more prepared to deal with it, or at least recognize it. Which makes it a little more bearable.

the pits

2006-07-07T22:30:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling just crummy. well...selfish and lazy would be more accurate.
I told stephen that I was pulling the plug on running TWC here this fall. After the way the summer has gone with having missioners here with us, I know I can't hack it for a full year with teaching as well. I can't handle it because I can't handle me - it's the space I'm in now. I can't do anything right and I hear about it all the time from others and foul spirits, and I hate that criticism so much that I've just stopped really doing anything and referring it all back to my husband.
I don't know quite what happened, or when it happened, but I know that I used to be someone who could just go and do it and whatever happened we would deal with it. Not perfect and asking questions, but still in a place where I was free and confident and okay with myself. Now I can't even make a simple decision because I'm afraid that I'm going to screw it up because I couldn't remember something, or missed taking a key point into consideration. I feel like a good for nothing lump.
So I decided (while in that mindspace) that I am not capable of leading anyone. And that I'm sick of people and their issues.
After i talked with Stephen though, and had some objective encouragement, I got to re-thinking...and then I read a news article that was written after a reporter came to spend time with us here in the neighbourhood and she had interviewed me and the stuff I was saying, I was like, yeah - that's me...where is that fire?
Have I put it out?
it used to be my favourite favourite verse - 1 Thess. 5:19 "Do not put out the Spirit's fire." before I even knew what that meant. And now I 've gone and done it.
Lack of discipline. Lack of implementation of truth and training.
Help me Lord to make right decisions at this time.

2006-07-02T21:54:00.000-07:00

2006-05-25T23:45:00.000-07:00

I hung out at home league camp last weekend. hmm. God really can use anything/anyone/anywhere to speak His purpose and will. for sure.

Here's what I heard. It was incredibly encouraging for this season too.

The speaker had done one of those appeals where first everyone closes their eyes and then raises their hand (with the promise of no one watching of course) and eventually leads you down to the front through a series of commitments to raising an arm, standing and moving forward.

So there I was. Here's where she snagged me:

"Are any of you hiding from God?"

bingo.

I haven't been meeting with Him, hungry for Him.
I have been hiding in the dark places of my heart. Afraid of what He's calling me into - of failing miserably and disappointing Him, or else afraid of actually doing it and there being even more that seems impossible ahead.
So I'm in this in-betweeny place and it's awful.
I prayed He wold 'shine light in those dark hiding places and meet me' and He has.

This is what He said specifically:

"Run hard and fast in faith"
"Heather, you are My follower. There is a cost to follow Me. Yet you have already counted the cost. Follow Me. You are My follower, that's all you need to think on now.'
I was at His feet, facedown. I looked up at Him and He asked me: "Do you love Me?" I rolled onto my back lke a babay rolling over and just stared up oblivious and unresponsible for any answers or behaviours.
I didn't like that in me.
With my head restingon His feet, He leaned down and picked me up, and a shadow of me was left in that babyish position.
He said: "You're not a baby. You're My child but you're not a baby. I'm calling you into maturity."
Then He just held on to me tightly and I was pressed against His chest. Security. Rest. Contentment.
I liked that.

2006-05-25T22:29:00.000-07:00

I've been reading this book called "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Seriously, it's the bomb. He's got this lead on Ephesians 5:33 - the husband loves the wife and the wife respects the husband. There's more to it naturally, but man. This book is seriously off the chain. I started to read it and a couple of times I actually dropped it in disbelief. This guy has a revelation from the Throne Room for real. Do I love my husband? Yes. Do I believe he loves me? Yyyyes...does he like me? Hmm. only sometimes. Does he believe in me? Yes. Does he encourage me? Yes.

Do I respect him?

Rarely.

It's a key. It's hard to do. It opens me up wide for immaturity and selfishness to spill out - which is good in the deliverance sense, but messy messy bidness for anyone closeby.

So, that's a big deal in my life right now. How can I honour my husband and pump him up respectfully?
Well, it's a real good thing that the book has suggestions, otherwise, I'd be outta luck.

I recommend it, even if you're not married to shed understanding on communication in relationships.

2006-05-25T22:28:00.000-07:00

I pulled this from my friend Beracah's blog www.xanga.com/ROARINGLAMB007 because it really ties in with my God-experience today:

'Gaze...I want to gaze at You...'
This is my favorite song of all time. I have decided.
My sister Acacia wrote it - it is her singing as well. That is not why it is my favorite though. Do you know how much He just wants us to gaze at Him?

You can check out the song at www.cdbaby.com/cd/kumi and it's track #4. Acacia is a part of our War College session of 2003-04 in Vancouver.

Anyways, I was thinking this morning about my neighbour, who had realy dropped off of the radar for the past few days. She had been arrested for assault on her boyfriend, gone to jail, been released and was back with him in a matter of a day and a half. That's certainly a point for contention with me for obvious reasons, but the not-so-obvious reason is that when she thinks that we will disapprove of her, she avoids us. That bums me out, because a friend is a friend - even if they make asinine choices in their life...

So when I saw her drive up and go into her house, I contemplated approaching her and striking up conversation. I played out in my mind different ways to go about this, and remembered my old downtown eastside approach from my Vancouver days.
Whenever someone dear had 'gone out' (Narcotics Anonymous code for fallen off the wagon) and I ran into them in the neighbourhood, I'd just say gladly "There you are! I've been looking for you!" Which, if you coulda seen me (well, it was 'us' really - Tara and me were relentless at times) back in the day was true - as soon as you hear someone has gone out to use, if you go and look in all the usual spots, you can often find them before they go completely off the chain. So this whole approach of there you are, I've been looking for you is designed to make the person feel sought after, important, cared for enough to turn everything upside down - just for them.

I didn't use that approach on my neighbour this morning, but God used that approach on me this afternoon. I was driving a neighbour to the store and my mind was just wandering loose, and all of sudden I rounded a corner in my thoughts and there was God - right up there in the front of my mind.
You know what He said?

"There you are Heather! I've been looking for you!"

It really is a gift to be sought after, especially when I've been a bit of a no-show with the Lord. He never stops looking. It's a good thing too, with my tendency to wander off and be distracted.

On the occasion of my first anniversary

2006-05-07T20:23:00.000-07:00

Some thoughts on marriage:

There is no subject on which more dangerous nonsense is talked and thought than marriage. -George Bernard Shaw

sure, everybody's got a wheelbarrow full of advice - but half of it belongs on the compost heap...

Books and marriage go ill together. -Molière

my husband would strongly agree...he is wary when I read relationship books, and begin conversations with statements like: "OHHH...now I know how all you men feel."

Marriage is the highest state of friendship: If happy, it lessens our cares by dividing them, at the same time that it doubles our pleasures by mutual participation. -Samuel Richardson

...IT WAS the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven...

2006-04-18T16:00:00.000-07:00

The Parable of the Growing Seed (from Mark 4)

26He also said, "This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. 27Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. 28All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. 29As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come."

props to my brother Charles for bringin' this one back to my remembrance (www.openingsalvocr.blogspot.com ) man, when I don't write things down they fly away...
So anyways, the Lord drew me to this parable in Mark that I hadn't ever read before (that I could recall) and I wondered at the meaning of it, as well as the revealing of it at this particular point in my life.
Truthfully, I'm still wondering at it, mostly because I haven't figured out how to dwell in the chaos that perpetually assails my household and daily routine. I know that there is promise and truth contained within these Scriptures in this season,if I will be patient and diligent to pause and consider them.

God grant that my faithfulness to study and contemplation would increase. Omaine.

2006-04-15T07:29:00.000-07:00

Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people He chose for His inheritance. Lord, from heaven You look down and see all mankind; from Your dwelling place You watch all who live on earth--You who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything we do. No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength. A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save. But Your eyes are on those who fear You, on whose whose hope is in Your unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine; I wait in hope for You Lord; You are my help and my shield. In You my heart rejoices, for I trust in Your holy name. May Your unfailing love rest upon me, O Lord, even as I put my hope in you. Praise be to You and Hallelujah to the King! In Your name, amen. (based on Psalm 33:12-22)

lifted from: Prime Time with God - www.churchgrowthmail.org

2006-04-11T17:38:00.000-07:00

baaa...

aren't I the sheepish one. So that post a wee bit back about the listening prayer, the one where I admitted that I often say I will do something and then it leaves my mind and I forget about it? Yup, forgot about doing the exercise. heehee, I have to laugh at myself at this point, because the guy who's website I lifted it from left me a comment (you can read it for yourself, then laugh along with me!).

Praise the Lord for abundant grace...I'll give it another go, and this time I'll enlist some accountability. And post-it notes.

I'm also going to suggest you check out a website. There's a whole newsletter there, and you can buy Jersak's books. I know you all who are readin' this blog and how our whole community worked that listening prayer over but only bought one book...how're we gonna go and be so cheap! Plus, I read about a new book they've got comin' out. It's called "kissing the leper" and that's right up our alley considering our 'touch the untouchable and love the unlovely' vision.

OH and, I never properly linked the site - www.the-god-who-speaks.blogspot.com

Grace.

Plus-sized spirituality

2006-03-28T20:14:00.001-08:00

Seeing as most of you know who I am and the whole idea of the 'anonymous' blog has pretty much flown out the window, I assume that you all have been reading the ministry blog that I am a part of. Needless to say, today was a big day for warfare. One thing immediately after another, and sometimes multiple crises happening at once. By 10:00 tonight, I was standing in the middle of my kitchen - avoiding my front door and every sticky, chaotic situation going on outside of it. I hid. and I don't even care if people know it.

I mucked around a bit, and then put the pots on the stove to prepare a hot bath (the usual evening routine). I do that just to wash myself off of the dust of the day, whether it went on inside the house or outside. It's a good place for peace and quiet and I'm pretty much guaranteed some solitude.

Tonight, I just started saying His Name out loud. Jesus. Jesus. What else can you do? I don't even know how to pray this stuff out. I closed my eyes and looked for Him. He was there and He had a package for me. It was one of those cool envelopes that all four sides open from the middle out. It had come in the mail for me from Him. At first, I didn't know if I wanted it - I shied away. But, in faith, I knew that it wouldn't be harmful to me, whatever He had, so I asked Him for it.
Inside the package, was a picture of me surrounded by kids. There were lots. I was like 'No! There are too many and their lives are so painful and unfair. I can't handle the ones that you've given me now, how will I love any more?'

Then He showed me how. He showed me my heart. It was big. I was like, 'Jesus, i want that heart, but the installation is going to hurt.' He showed me that this package came by mail, which indicated to me that it would take a few days (Kingdom days, that is) to get to me. In the meantime, He would be stretching and enlarging my heart to hold them all. I was still worried about the process...He reminded me that when I grow in clothing sizes, it's gradual and takes place over time and then one day, the old clothes don't fit anymore and you receive new ones that fit you properly. The same with the heart. It will grow gradually and eventually I will outgrow what I've got and receive a larger size. That made me laugh. He said, I will give you new clothing, all plus-sized. Plus-sized humility, plus-sized wisdom, plus-sized understanding...and so on:

"Clothe yourselves therefore, as God's own chosen ones (His own picked representatives), [who are] purified and holy and well-beloved [by God Himself, by putting on behavior marked by] tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gentle ways, [and] patience [which is tireless and long-suffering, and has the power to endure whatever comes, with good temper]."
Colossians 3:12 Amplified Bible

Then I wept, because I wanted this great love that God had for me, so I agreed to let His will by done, even when it hurt, and trust that He's doing what He has set out to do in me.
Amen.

2006-03-23T12:49:00.000-08:00

2006-03-15T10:24:00.000-08:00

I lifted this from Brad Jersak's online journal. See link above. I thought I'd give it a go, although you should check back with me on this, because I have a tendency to say I'm going to do something and not follow through. Anyways, let me know what God says to you and what you say to Him...

Anyways, as I left for Thailand, one of my intercessors gave me a two part question that has sent me into a fairly deep prayer space at times. It goes like this:

Part 1 - The Lord wants to know what you really really want. I was to pray about this for an entire week and share my answers with God. He really wanted me to get at the deepest desires of my heart and get honest with Him about it. It was as if He actually plans to offer. If you knew He would say YES, what would YOU ask God for? Please take a whole week to work it over in your heart.

Part 2 - After one week (and not before), you come to God with those thoughts and then you ask HIM: "God, what do you really, really, really want?" And then you listen. After two weeks, I'm still listening. In my case, the first thing He shared was meant to be churned over and over... so I'm still doing that. I wonder what He'll show you. The first thing I heard was Micah 6:8. "He has shown you, oh man, what is good and what the Lord requires of you. To do justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God." It seems like I need to let that sink in and then maybe more will come.

Crossing the Divide

2006-02-26T08:39:00.000-08:00

My friend Idelette hosts a beautiful woman's e-zine that arrives in my inbox every 6 weeks or so. It is dear to my heart because she is, but also b/c she is based out of Vancouver and loves the women of the Downtown Eastside. She is a part of The Journey, a supernatural, God-given ministry that happens up in BC in this one special place. Here is one Christian woman's account of how it has changed her life:

Crossing the Divide
By Sue-Ann MacCara

My life has been thoroughly blessed. No addictions, no sexual abuse, a happy home, two wonderful parents, a terrific husband, two beautiful children, and the kind of childhood bliss every child should know. However, whenever I journeyed through Vancouver's forsaken Downtown Eastside seeing a world of addiction, prostitution and desolation, I felt helpless and guilt-ridden. I didn't know how to cross over into this very different world.

Then, in October 2004, I was invited to a women's leadership retreat at Linwood House on the Sunshine Coast of British Columbia, Canada. After retiring from a successful business, I was exploring what to do next.

The moment I walked into Linwood House, I burst into tears! It was a sacred space. The sense of love and peace I felt was overwhelming. At the end of our weekend, Gwen McVicker, President of Linwood House Ministries, shared some of the vision and work of Linwood House. Specifically she talked to us about a three-day retreat for women from the Downtown Eastside called "The Journey." She explained how many of the women who come from the Downtown Eastside cry when they get to Linwood House.

Right then it hit me: these women were no different from me!

A few weeks later, I went to East Hastings Street to purchase Tae Kwon Do shoes for my son. (East Hastings Street is the heart of the area referred to as Vancouver's Downtown Eastside.) I parked my car and just before I got out, these words escaped my lips: "God, if you want me to work in this place, show me someone!" I was quite perplexed by this, because that was not my intention for the day.

As I left the store, shoes in hand, I walked slap bang into a tiny woman with wild curly brown hair, beautiful legs, tall boots, a mini skirt and a leather jacket. Her two front teeth were missing. Immediately I thought, "Okay God, you showed me someone." Out of my mouth came the words, "Hi, I'd like to take you out for lunch!"

The next thing I knew, Sandra* and I were wandering around East Hastings looking for a place to have lunch.

I then invited Sandra to The Journey and spent three days with the amazing women from the Downtown Eastside. The stories broke my heart and blew me away. I realized that God had intended to place Sandra in my life and I felt called to working with these women, because I've been blessed with an overabundance of optimism and a belief in humankind.

I connect with many women at The Journey and give them my cell-phone number. Those who reach out to me, I take out for coffee or lunch, we go hiking or to doctors appointments. Mostly, I just love them.

I had little idea how much meeting Sandra would impact, not only my life, but also our family. When I told my husband and kids about my encounter, my husband immediately decided that our family needed to take Christmas stockings--socks filled with toothpaste, deodorant, toothbrushes, chocolates, oranges, etc.--to the forsaken hotel Sandra was staying at. Somehow my son's teacher also got wind of what we were up to, and before we knew it, his whole Grade 6 glass had gathered enough stockings so every room in the hotel received a Christmas stocking that year. Many families at our little school in beautiful Deep Cove, North Vancouver, have now asked if they can become involved and do the same thing.

Who knows where this journey will take us, but it certainly has been the most fulfilling, rewarding (and frustrating)! work I have ever done.

*Not her real name

For more information about The Journey and the work of Linwood House Ministries, check out the website at www.linwoodhouseministries.org.

"...Let us go with you, because we have heard that God is with you." - Zechariah 8:23

2006-02-23T14:40:00.000-08:00

I came upon this in my inbox today and I've paused for about thirty seconds to think about it. I have a hard time meditating on things because I allow myself to be easily distracted, but the questions at the bottom provoked some thought, and I've decided to share them:

Few men of God have become extraordinary people of faith without the influence of mentors. A mentor is one who takes responsibility for the spiritual and, sometimes, physical care of another. It requires a commitment from the teacher and the student.

Elijah mentored Elisha. Elisha became one of the greatest prophets in the entire Bible. One of the primary reasons for this was Elisha's hunger. Elisha wanted a double portion of Elijah's spirit. It was this hunger that drove Elisha to be sold out to God's purposes for his life.

I have been privileged to have had many mentors throughout my spiritual life. In each stage of my maturity, God brought new mentors who had unique gifts that the previous mentor did not have. God has given me the hunger to desire a double portion of those positive attributes of my mentors. This desire is sorely missing among many today. I fail to see the hunger among many who could be used greatly in the Kingdom. Instead, the cares of this world distract them. It is an attitude of a la carte versus an attitude of pressing in to the full measure of what God might have for them.

Who are the people of God He has placed in your life?
Are you learning from them?
Are you seeking a double portion of their anointing?
What prevents you from gaining from their wisdom and experience?

God may have brought them into your life to prepare you to be a man or woman of God with great anointing. However, there is a time of training and waiting to prove out your own faith. Ask God today if there is someone He would have you mentor or be mentored by.

Not bad eh? I can answer those questions truthfully in that there are a number of godly folks in my life and I observe them and learn that way but I have very little consistent dialogue with anyone. I consider consistent dialogue to be at least 3 times per week either in person, on the phone or through email. I am selfish in my outlook because I tend to dwell on mistakes people have made or recall mainly times that I have felt they've done me wrong and so I bypass all of what God has planted in them and what they would offer me. Asking for the double portion just sounds greedy to me...I don't want to be all puffed up and walk up do Danielle and be like 'hey missy, I'm gonna get me some of our anointin'...yup in fact I want twice as much boldness and creativity and adventure as you.' So even though I see the silliness of that thought process, it is still there. I feel like a gumbo these days - a weird and complicated mixture of bits and pieces stewed and brewed together that comes out tasting ok but it ain't no steak.
Praise the Lord.

2006-02-22T08:45:00.000-08:00

Today I opened my inbox and read through this online devotion that has been delivered to me for the past, oh probably 3 or 4 months. I rarely sign up for that kinda stuff, but Holy Spirit sees fit to speak to me through it 99% of the time. It's beautiful and eerie how He does that. Now that I have a computer at home (which has never really been the case) I'll be able to open each day's reading on that actual day and meditate on it, rather than just checking once week and skimming 6 or 7 at once.
I decided to paste today's prayer on this blog, because it sums up everything that I was bemoaning and petitioning God for just yesterday.

Today's Prayer
February 22, 2006
Oh Lord, so much of the time it just seems like there are not enough hours in a day and not enough strength to do all that needs to be done.
Sometimes stress nearly gets the best of me. I pray that I will stop, take a breath, and talk to You about it.
I pray that You will calm me down and help me relax, focus, and prioritize. I need Your help to plan my days, for You are the all-wise Creator of days who knows me best, and who knows what is most important to do in Your plan for me.
Please guide and direct me.
Help me to be organized and efficient in all I do.
Please help me to accomplish all You want me to accomplish each day. Thank You, Lord. In Jesus' name, amen.

the gig so far

2006-02-07T14:02:00.000-08:00

So here we are, living in Charlotte. Crazy times. I'm so behind in my blogging/journalling/updating that I'm going to just do this:

Top 9 most interesting things that have happened since we moved here:
(in no particular order)

10 - we found a chunk of weave on our front lawn
*to the uninformed, weave is strands of human hair that black women (and men) have attached to their head to give the appearance of long,lustrous locks. How'd it get there? Who knows...

9 - a three legged dog ran by

8 - instead of doing street combat, we just sit on our front porch in our walmart lawn chairs and people just seem to wander up...perhaps it's the novelty of white among black

7 - we locked ourselves out of the house, so we popped the screen off of one of our windows, Rob boosted me up and I went through the window...needless to say it was likely the first time that white folk done gone an broke in a house down he' in dis 'hood...

6 - we witnessed our neighbour - a young black mother of one - stab her own car tires out during a domestic dispute

5 - the same neighbour and her drunkass boyfriend came by later on for soda and spiritual talk (Rob lept out of bed in the middle of the night to stop the guy from beating on our neighbour, only to find that she was the one with the knife...so we invited the guy in until she cooled off...they ended up sticking around for a couple of hours, so we decided to call it cell...

4 - our landlord stopped by to give us a prophetic word (he's a godly southern baptist man just trying to make his way on the 'what would Jesus eat' diet)and after praying with him, he was slain in the Spirit. Or you could say he had a glory fit if you were sec. Or, if you were an innocent non-Christian bystander you would've said he lost his balance and all 400lbs of him toppled over onto the hardwood floor, except for his head, which landed in Heather's lap

3 - the first night that we moved in, we were just settling in to our squishity air bed (whose little plug popped out in the night and we awoke cold and grumpy and on the floor)when we heard noise outside. We both sprang up to peek skillfully out the window and we saw a car three feet from our window with the trunk popped and two guys shuffling around rifles. Then, another car pulled up and three guys jumped out and they had handguns pointed at the other guys. They settled their dispute and took off. We prayed out fear and went to bed.

2 - then night that we got home from RootsSouth we woke up suddenly to what I thought were five hard knocks on our front door. Assuming someone needed help, I got out of bed to look out the window and see who was outside. Rob - more knowledgeable about these sorts of things than me - pulled me back down tight to him and said "Baby, what are you doing?" I replied "there is someone at our door" He said "Nuh uh...those were gun shots, keep away from the window."
So there you go...who'da thought that gunshots and doorknocks sound so alike?

My sister Lois.

2006-01-20T22:29:00.000-08:00

I don't debate that there is much for me to be recording these days considering all the goings-on in my life, but I don't have time for that now. I do need to write about how I am feeling, even if it's just to get it outta me.
I was lying in bed just now, unable to sleep. It is 1:30 in the morning and Rob, Cory and I drove up to London, Ontario from Charlotte, North Caronlina today. I should be exhausted. I am. But I can't sleep. I was laying there and my head hurt (I did a great job whackin' it when I got in the van today, really hard, right across the top of my head) and yesterday in a meeting, a big ole snow globe fell off of a shelf above me randomly and hit me somewhere between my shoulder and my neck. The aching really started to kick in today and it seemed that as soon as I lay down, everything was buzzing in my ear and I felt just plain nauseous. Naturally, by this time Rob was already sleeping, or pretending to be asleep. No one to kiss goodnight or pray with or give a reassuring pat. I need that before I go to bed - definetely a thing from my childhood, but I don't care. I lay there feeling all disoriented and tired and sad. I couldn't help starting to cry. I thought of Lois. I still am thinking of her. When she died, and we were speaking of her to people, Rob would point out that we only remembered the good things about her and didn't talk about what she was really like. So I tried to remember her in fullness. I thought of lots of things about her that were hard to like. She wasn't easy to get to know, and she was even harder to live with. It was frustrating watching her die. And even after thinking through all of these things, Jesus took me to a place where I remembered how excited she was when Rob and I got engaged. She was absolutely thrilled. She would get so excited when she would pray for us, she would always sorta pick up speed in prayer and start waving her arms around and her voice would rise into a crescendo as she spoke of all that we would accomplish for the Kingdom as a team, and all the damage we would do in the demonic realm and all the people that we would love on and how much we would cherish each other, and on and on. Even when we got married, that day, she was just tickled throughout the whole ceremony and blessed us whenever she could get her hands on us. At the time, I chalked it up to a friend who was just happy for us.
These days, after months of pushing through difficult situations and marital issues(not always liking what I get), personal introspection (not liking what I see)it is so SO easy to feel discouraged overall. Will it ever get easier? Or maybe just less difficult?
So lying in bed, thinking of Lois and her fervent prayer, tears leaking out, I began to do something that I've never done since I got saved. I started to talk to Lois in prayer. I asked her to please pray for us, for our marriage, for our spiritual lives, and for God's will overall. I don't even think it's Scriptural and it felt oh so Catholic, but I felt reassured, after all, isn't Lois up there, seated next to Christ? Isn't she in worship right now before the King of Kings? Maybe with her flag? Isn't she surrounding us amongst a great cloud of witnesses? I know she's gotta be cheering us on. So I just want her to kick it up a notch for the next little while...to encourage us and pray for us in the spirit that she did while she was on earth, because I know I didn't appreciate it then like I would appreciate it now if I could have her arms around me, praying the way she loved to pray. I miss her.

here in sweet Charlotte

2006-01-11T10:06:00.000-08:00

We spent the first night at our new house last night. We borrowed an air bed from Cory and Laura and after running around (Laura generously lent us her van to use until tomorrow morning) and gathering some essentials from wal-mart, we headed home to discover no electricity or water hook ups...so a few hours and many telephone calls later (praise Jah that we got the cell yesterday) we could turn on a light and flush the toilet. Rob was moving in overdrive, hanging up blinds and putting on a new toilet seat...it was funny to watch. We hit the sack around 12:30am and awoke around 5 with our bed all deflated and frrrrreezin' cold. The plug had popped out of the airbed and because we didn't turn the gas on and the floors aren't insulated it was pretty chilly, even for the south. So we ended up putting on a couple pairs of pants and sweaters each, pumpin' the bed up again and we slept a bit longer. We noticed when we were sitting on our porch this morning that everybody else in our neighbourhood has plastic over their windows (for drafts) as well as over these vents in the space under the house - everybody except us that is...so we're learning as we go. Even though it wasn't a dream sleep, we awoke feeling blessed, because we knowKNOW that this is da spot, fo' sho...
We even already met one of our neighbours, Nicole who was walking by and stopped to chat to us. At first she was about 15 feet away, and gradually she came closer and closer and chatted to us for a while. It really was a treat.

From Galatians 5 - The Message

2005-12-01T17:11:00.000-08:00

4I suspect you would never intend this, but this is what happens. When you attempt to live by your own religious plans and projects, you are cut off from Christ, you fall out of grace.

Well, that's certainly a statement. Even the best-intentioned believer can get caught in pride and it doesn't take long before we begin to devise our own tactics and blueprints to see God's will accomplished in our lives. The reality of that way of living is manifest in the lives of Abraham and Sarah in the book of Genesis. I mean seriously...coming to the conclusion that the only way that God's promise can come true is to have an affair?

No. We can reflect on that example and cluck our tongues in disapproval, when honestly, as the body of Christ we do it all the time! We don't trust God to do what He says He's going to do in HIS strength, so we plot and scheme and 'strategize' on how to make it happen ourselves. Holy Ghost just shakes His head...where is there room for Him to direct our lives when we insist on taking up the entire driver's seat?

"25Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives"

So what does that even mean?

When we live God's way, "He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard"

-so that's gradually, but visibly

"things like affection for others"

-imagine having the love of Christ for someone that you don't even know (or maybe some that you do) and it flowing out of you naturally

"exuberance about life, serenity."

-that means actually being excited about what you are doing, and what you are about. Having this 'peace that passes understanding' and maintaining it, drawing others into the Kingdom because you make Christ in you attractive by your very life.

"We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people.
We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments,
23not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely...
26That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original."

It's not so hard to write it. The difficulty lies in just doing it. True dat.

2005-12-01T16:49:00.000-08:00

"It's the wrestling that brings us strength." C. Roberts

That's a line that I gleaned from an email today. It claimed me. Let's look at that - wrestling is all about conflict, confrontation, clash, strength and force, strategy and forward thought and most of all, a motivation towards victory.

I don't come by any of that naturally - what I've got is evasion (of problems and people) a tendency towards aggression rather than healthy conflict, emotional strife, bossiness and a need to control and a need to be right.

I guess that's the distinction between a Holy Spirit led life and the dominion of the flesh.

"Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. "

Y'know, I don't think I live according to the sinful nature, I just think that it finds its way in every now and again. I want to have my mind set on what the Spirit desires (that whole motivation for victory).

"The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace;"

The thing is, I don't have peace of mind at the moment - it has been elusive for quite some time. Where I have misstepped? The Word says that if my mind were controlled by Holy Spirit, then it would contain (and overflow with) life and peace. I don't visualize this as some kind of ethereal utopian state of mind that only the lofty and religious can reach, but more like an eternal comfy couch (ok, bear with me, I'm not suggesting that my God in His entirety is merely a big hug, but it IS one of His attributes) where I can choose to sit and take a load off regardless of my circumstances or trials.

So- there you have it. I guess it's what I'm famous for, a long ramble with some Scripture thrown in, but it feels good to have it on the outside rather than jammed within.

grace,
a mere beggar who has found bread

Romans 8:5-6

I love quotes and it's good to share, so here we go...

2005-12-01T16:35:00.000-08:00

"I know some people who are tired. My friend even suggested that they are spent. I didn't receive it for myself. I'm not spent! :-) I've not yet begun to fight, to test the waters of grace in which the great hearts drowned, the diehards now swim, and our persecuted comrades wade. May resolve bolster the courage of any of you similarly tested"
Stephen Court, PhD, Captain

I feel tested in that way - I'm feeling 'spent', as thought I'm rationing grace when I could be feasting on it freely. Why do I do that? Seriously, I know I'm wading into deepening waters of maturity, self-examination and knowledge of Christ, but I seem to make it into a right and wrong list, measuring myself against the self I was 10 minutes or 10 months ago...yikes. I think it's definetely time for a breather. Praise God that He's got me situated perfectly to slow down and contemplate exactly what it is that I think I'm doing.

"There has never yet been a man in our history who led a life of ease whose name is worth remembering."
Theodore Roosevelt

The Deep Wells of Salvationism

2005-10-02T13:48:00.000-07:00

"We haven't fought for unity to give up now, have we?"

The Deep Wells of Salvationism

2005-10-01T14:07:00.000-07:00

Energy...it's great... - Nicole Brindle - TWC Martyr

"five months ago...i was drained...i was weak...i was tired. now im energised. what changed? my focus i guess.
five months ago i was working on my own strength, and i was tired, and i was exhausted. now having accepted my weakness and leaning on God's strength i am accomplishing more, doing more, and im energised by it.
i have a theory. if you are walking out Gods calling with humility and obedience, you will not grow weary, rather you will be energised by the things you do.

the world tells us, waking up early, working your butt off, and sleeping only a few hours, you will get exhausted...but friends, thats the world...
the spirit tells us that if we wait on the Lord we will not grow weary.

walk out your gifts in the fullness of how God created them. seek the Lords face and dont lose focus. its all about Him, it has nothing to do with you. its not about what your doing, how much your doing. its all about Him.
ITS ALL ABOUT HIM!"

The Deep Wells of Salvationism

2005-09-30T14:00:00.000-07:00

The Invitation - Rebekah Barnum, TWC Martyr

"All of us are busy, so rather than spending time with God, listening to His voice , we let others spend time with Him and then benefit from their experience. Then we let them tell us what God is saying.

If that is your approach, if your spiritual experiences are second-hand and not first hand, I'd like to challenge you with a thought:
Do you do that with other parts of your life?
I don't think so. Vacations- you want to experience firsthand , not allowing someone else to experience it for you and then tell you all about it when they arrive home.
Romance: you want to experience love firsthand! You do not want to miss a word or a date and listening to God is certainly a thing that you need to do on your own.
He doesn't want a substitute, He wants you. He invites you to a vacation of His splendour. He invites you to feel the touch of His hand, He invites you to feast at His table and He wants to spend time with you.
Will you accept his invitation?"

2005-09-30T09:03:00.000-07:00

I was reading through a bunch of testimonies last night and this caught my attention:

"I had peace with God - but not the peace of God."

It's not enough friends, to have the "He's up there, I'm down here and we're good." thing goin' on - I've been there, there's nothing to hold onto when life gets tough. Go right for the peace of God - it goes past anything we can understand or figure out and that's the point. It's supernatural.
Whatever you've got that's driving you crazy - or to drink, or to worry or to yell at your wife and kids - give it up to God. Let Him handle things, and this peace of God will guard your heart AND your mind in Christ Jesus. Let me tell you friends, there's no safer place to leave your troubles than in Jesus, and with Him guarding your heart and mind, you can finally stop the frenzy and just be still for once, and be OK with that.
Doesn't that sound inviting?

Have you any time for Jesus,
As in grace he calls again?
O today is time accepted,
Tomorrow you may call in vain.

Room for Jesus, King of Glory!
Hasten now, his word obey!
Swing your heart's door widely open,
Bid him enter while you may.
SASB #241

posted by:
Heather Dolby
sinner saved by grace through faith

The Deep Wells of Salvationism

2005-09-29T13:36:00.000-07:00

Faithful readers- I am about to embark on a season of drawing from the deep and profound wellspring of restlessness and revelation poured out - with fire and tears- by my comrades in Christ.

Life Lessons - Esther Mueller Vocke

In Jesus there is victory even in seeminly defeat.
God's Spirit might chose to move and manifest his power independent from my preparation or prayer.
I still got to learn a lot about time management.
God knows how to use bad things for my best.
Those in the front ranks might not be God's main people his builds his kingdom on.
There is power in prayer when God commands me to pray specificly.
Without love my walk in righteousness might come across as religious.
Never underestimate the power of the prayer and encouragement of the saints!
God answers my prayers for more of his presence and power.
Doing ministry as a team makes us a testimony to the world by our love for each other.

Two Wolves - or Galatians 5, an illustration

2005-09-15T12:46:00.000-07:00

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between 2 wolves" inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority,lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity,humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy,
generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:
"Which Wolf Wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The One You Feed."

I wouldn't preach it (cheese factor is too high) but it's a good visual for sinful nature vs. Holy Spirit and how our free will affects the outcome.

I never thought I'd be givin' props to Maya Angelou...

2005-09-14T12:50:00.000-07:00

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou

Ladies and Gentlemen, start your engines...

2005-09-11T13:10:00.000-07:00

I scammed this from my friend Nicole's blog because it moved me...I am transported back to this time last year when I was in the pre-TWC weeks, with S & D gone, and tons to do and NOTHING seemed to want to just work out, everything was a wrestle. It seems as though some things never change... (and I NEVER would have guessed I'd look back on that period of time nostalgically!)

"Well let me give you a quick a rundown of the last week.

Yesterday Fleur and I had to get our car out of the impound and we got lost on the way there.
The day before that our corporate cards declined.
The day before that we found out we cannot get beds for the 30+ students.
The day before that we carried a couple couches down the road.
The day before that the Nigerian Embassasy called.
The day before that the insurance in the van ran out.
The day before that we all got sick.
The day before that a bunch of leaders left the province.
The day before that our friends missed their flights.

Ahhh, but the important part is in each of these days God is good."

Pray for them - The Holy Session and their leaders ands comrades in 614 and the DTES.

the purpose of salvation

2005-09-10T12:54:00.000-07:00

In my rations today (rations are daily devotions, but like food for soldiers in times of warfare I couldn't survive for long without them) I was meditating on Luke 1:57-80.
One of the questions asked of the text was "What, according to Zechariah's song is the purpose of salvation? " I centred in on verses 74 and 75 as my answer:

"so we can serve God without fear, in holiness and righteousness forever."

Obviously, this is backed up by His redemption in v68, His deliverance in v71 and His Covenant to His people in vs72-73.
Feeling satisfied with that answer, I toddled on to the next question:

"Is this your experience?"

Well my word if that didn't catch me unawares and downshift me into discomfort and introspection...

Sadly for me, my truth is that I operate more in fear than I know...I believe that this is at the root of most of my emotional issues and breakdowns, especially in my marriage relationship. Two nights ago, I knelt in my kitchen and repented of all the places in my life where I have partnered with fear, but until my rations today, I never realized how much my marriage journey has been a place of not trusting that God is at work within myself and my husband and not trusting that my husband makes good decisions that won't totally derail us in our lives and our ministry. It's ridiculous. What kind of godly wife doesn't trust the man that God has given her? The kind that is ruled by the fear that if she is not in control it won't go right. That if she discerns it, it MUST be true, even if her mate doesn't agree. The kind whose selfish and fearful heart makes it fertile to the lying seeds sown by the enemy.
I don't want this in me. I want to stop being tossed about by fear. I'm willing for God to discipline me in the severest way to bring about immediate change in this foundational behaviour He has pointed out in me. Even if it's tough, I want to trust Him fully. I covet your prayers, friends.
He reminded me of a time before I was married when all I had to rely on was the promise He had made to me. He schooled me to fix my eyes on things above, on heavenly things, on unseen things. Believe Him, not what my eyes can see around me. How did I forget that lesson so quickly? God forgive me.

Allow me to catapult you in the same direction, and break off a piece of my rations to share with you, comrades:

As a follower of Christ, are you currently experiencing a salvation that allows you to serve God without fear?

"Because of God's tender mercy, the light from heaven is about to break upon us.." Luke 1:78 NLT

He's coming soon to collect us - who among us will be able to stand before the Throne and offer up our lives of service motivated by our love for Him, not hindered by our human fears and what our eyes perceive?
My God, let it be me, but only by Your grace.

Do not underestimate the holy power contained within your wife/daugher/sister/mother/grandmother...for we are a great host

2005-08-18T14:04:00.000-07:00

Last month I was on an airplane to Holland and
received a visitation from the Lord. Through the visitation, the Lord made it clear to me that mantels of anointing and ministry such as what Maria Woodworth Etter, Aimee Semple McPherson, and Katherine Kuhlman walked in were being
released from heaven over specific women in this hour who have prepared their hearts with holy devotion in the presence of the Lord. They are marked by the Lord as a generation of revivalists.

They will be a company of women who are not looking for name or renown, but who are humble before God and completely submitted to
the Holy Spirit. They will be women of prayer and women of His presence and power -handmaidens, bondservants. The younger women especially will be raised up in these revivalist mantels and will move powerfully in miracles,
signs, and wonders. They will be holy women and will raise the standard of purity in the Body and will challenge the impure mindsets of the world. They will carry high levels of Kingdom authority.

Like Catherine Booth, many of them will be called to radical street evangelism. They will be confirmed by the Lord through attesting miracles.

Patricia King www.extremeprophetic.com

"The Lord gives the command; The women who
proclaim the good tidings are a great host." Psalm 68:11 NAS

I'll have an order of action, heavy on the justice with mercy on the side...

2005-08-17T11:34:00.000-07:00

"When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint.
When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist."
- Dom Helder Camara

My friend Elaine has been on about mercy without justice lately. What's the big deal you say? Well, mercy is standing by the river and pulling people out of peril as they are swept by. We can do that as a society and even as an Army. We have a soup kitchen/drop-in/shelter bed/thrift store/family services for you. Justice, however, is going up the river to find out how everybody's ending up in there in the first place. Do we do that? As a society, there is no shortage of associations and coalitions devoted to bringing about justice, as they see it. As an Army though, where are we upholding justice as the King of Justice sees it? He says this in Malachi 6:8:

"He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"

So where's the justice in your walk with God?
I invite your comment...

My Vancouver III - The Strip

2005-08-17T06:50:00.000-07:00

Take a stroll with me down Hastings Street...

Carnegie Centre/Health Contact Centre
This is a popular spot for milling about and meeting people. Our semi-weekly street van parked there for 2 1/2 hours to share food and prayer and relationship with the hundred or more people that showed up. Lots of people choose this alley to 'use' in and there are enough dumpsters there to hide someone from nosy vehicular onlookers and intrusive eyes of police. This is one of the most rat-infested alleys we have.

The Safe Injection Site

www.cbc.ca: "Vancouver's supervised drug injection site is making its Downtown Eastside a better place to live, according to a new study.

More than 500 addicts use the clinic every day.

The Radio Station Cafe is a definite hangout in the 'hood. It's about a 3 minute walk from the Empress Hotel and a great place to stop on the way to class in the morning for a small coffee and muffin ($2!) There is never a shortage of folks milling around on that corner (Main & Columbia) buying, selling and shooting the breeze. Inside the cafe, you can sit as long as you like and make use of free internet access. It was one of my favourite spots, because the coffee is drinkable, the muffin was warm, the internet was free (no time limit unless someone is waiting) and there are big windows so you can see all the action outdoors. The only other place where I saw more friends shoot up or smoke up than here was at Hastings and Abbott.

Pigeon Park
Not the kind of park to take the kids to - unless you've got a Warrior Academy. This is a congregating spot for folks in the neighbourhood to go on the nod, shoot up together, yak the afternoon away or take a load off on one of the benches. Death and Glory held our open air meetings here, marching from the Empress Hotel, down Cordova (past Harbourlight), down Carrall back up to Hastings with the Blood and Fire flag out front, cornet right behind and djimbe in the rear. As many of us that were soldiers wore uniforms, and the rest wore the Red Shield and we were manned with songbooks, testimonies and Gospel shots. Oh, and chocolate covered digestive cookies - God bless Family Services!) This is where I met Shelley, a street tough drug dealer in her early 40's with a hard-core attitude and great hugs.

The Bottle Depot
In Vancouver, you can collect a deposit on bottles and cans and return them for cash. Many of my neighbours made that their full-time job -scavenging in dumpsters, public garbages,food courts etc. My dear friend Ken runs the "United We Can" bottle depot. He has a beautiful heart to help people and gives many work opportunities to those who need it - even if they missed coming in last week because they were high.
I went to my first AA meeting here in October of 2003 and made it my home group for the next year and a half.
You'll know when you're close, because the bottle depot emanates a pungent odor of rancid beer and pop as well as a steady stream of hunters shouldering their garbage bags or pushing their grocery cart full of bottles and cans.

Hastings and Abbott
I grew to love this intersection even more than Main and Hastings. Definetly the darker of the two, if not the more notorious, this was where the Death and Glory session of The War College spent the majority of our time, either in class, or in Re:Cre8, the evening coffee bar we hosted for our neighbours. This is an interesting shot, because it gives the impression that everyone on that crowded corner is on their way somewhere. Truthfully, most people we found there moved from that corner to the alley and back, at a constant frenzied pace seeing who's buying, who's selling and who's sharing.
I made some of my best friends here - except I'm thousands of miles away, and they remain...and unless they respond to the touch of Jesus Christ, in 2 years I'd be able to return and unless they're dead, know exactly where to find them.

My Vancouver - II

2005-08-15T10:47:00.000-07:00

The second installment of Vancouver as I know it, photos courtesy of Carl-Magnus Dumell at www.dumell.net

Hastings Street
where $20 will get you anything, even killed This shot was taken right out the front door of the Empress Hotel where a bunch of us frenetical believers laid our weary heads...I have to smile when I think of all the parking tickets and tows that occurred out front of the hotel...some things aren't funny until way afterwards...one fixture that is absent from this photo is my friend Michael, who sits on the corner of Hastings and Main with his garbage bag full of treasure. He was there every morning when I walked to and from class, or meetings or errands. He likes apple juice the best and if you stop for long enough, he will actually converse with you - I learned quickly, however, that when I saw a congregation of empty beer cans strewn off to his right side to give him a wide berth - beer made him verbally nasty. All that being said, he has one of the best smiles in the DTES.

stairs
stairs,somewhere, leading nowhere These stairs lead to one of the most panoramic and impressive views of the mountains and North Vancouver in all of Vancouver - at Crabtree Beach. It's fitting, however, that married with this stairway to beauty is the undisguised reality of the neighbourhood, depicted in the rig casually displayed at the base of the stairway.

negotiating
a prostitute trying to make a deal
done deal
prostitute getting into a customers car Perhaps it's easier for someone who doesn't know anyone in the 'business' to scroll over these two photos. These are my neighbours, and not just neighbours like your sub-division sort of neighbours, these are men and women that I spent time with, ate meals with, had evening tea with, walked places with and prayed with.

with grace, and sentiment,
Heather

all photos available here
are copyright © 1993-2005
Carl-Magnus Dumell

My Vancouver

2005-08-15T10:08:00.000-07:00

When God calls His people to a place, He gives them His heart for the land and the people, that they may best be channels of His love. Few have understood my partiality to the Downtown Eastside save those who -like myself- have met Jesus there. I'd like to spend a couple of blogs sharing the Vancouver that I have known through the heart lens the Lord has given me for that place, with the help of photographers, artists and poets found online.
The following photos and comments by Christopher DeWolf

Welcome to the Downtown Eastside. This is Vancouver's poorest and most troubled neighbourhood. It is a ghetto for drugs and drug-addled whores, freaks, outcasts, junkies. Yet it is also home to people that care, the kind souls that hand out soup and clean needles and volunteer in the Carnegie Library. It is the best and worst of Vancouver.

Copyright 2002 Urbanphoto
- Christopher DeWolf
www.urbanphoto.net/ 24van/photo20.htm

2005-06-14T17:34:00.000-07:00

Strong are the foes that round me creep,
Constant the vigil I must keep;
But from a secret armoury
The grace of Jesus strengthens me. SASB 489.2

You know, The Salvation Army Songbook is an absolute treasure of truth and inspiration.
I used to carry mine around with me all the time but somehow I slipped out of that habit...
However, when faced with the reality that I won't always be surrounded by solid, familiar community
or an internet connection that gives me the hookup, I am reminded by Holy Spirit of my dear old friend, the Songbook.
Full of the encouragement and challenge and testimony of saints through the ages facing the same schemes of the evil one and sufferings and sweet victories available through Jesus Christ as me.
Hallelujah.

This is the lamp to pilgrim given, this is my passport into Heaven,
Portent of immortality, that God, through Jesus, dwells in me. SASB 489.4

2005-06-14T17:02:00.000-07:00

“The first duty of love is to listen.”

—THEOLOGIAN/PHILOSOPHER PAUL TILLICH

"...a light-radiant cloud enveloped them. As they found themselves buried in the cloud, they became deeply aware of God. Then there was a voice out of the cloud: "This is my Son, the Chosen! LISTEN to Him."

If you love Him. You will listen to Him.

Speak to me by name, O Master,
Let me know it is to me.
Speak, that I may follow faster, with a step more firm and free,

Master, speak! and make me ready, when Thy Voice is truly heard,
With obedience, glad and steady still to follow every word.
I am listening, Lord for Thee - 1970SASB #533

O God let it be...that I wouldn't use my intentional time with You to babble on about my needs, or to ask questions of You but without pausing and waiting for Your Voice. Break me of bad habits, Dad. Amen.

2005-06-14T16:14:00.000-07:00

Kingdom tactics I've learned on this battlefront that I humbly pass along...

~"Rash language cuts and maims, but there is healing in the words of the wise." Proverbs 12:18 (MSG)

~Value your comrades - honour them - they won't always be with you.

~God will give us the victory but we must be willing to fight.

~"Never walk away from someone who deserves your help; your hand is God's Hand for that person." Proverbs 3:27 (MSG)

~"Forget about self-confidence; it's useless. Cultivate God-confidence." 1 Corinthians 10:10

~"When the city came into view, He wept over it." Luke 17:41

Death and Glory,
Ruhani

Ready and Willing

2005-06-07T21:56:00.000-07:00

We had a conference here in Vancouver called "RAW" which stood for ready and willing. The aim of the conference was to assemble young people on their March Break and give them opportunities to serve, evangelize, prophesy, weep, have their hearts broken for the poor as well as to be blessed by them and to hear teachings to equip them for battle in Jesus' Name.

When faced with the text I was given to preach on - Isaiah 52:7:

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news,
       who proclaim peace,
       who bring good tidings,
       who proclaim salvation,
       who say to Zion,
"Your God reigns!"

I was struck with the obvious action involved in bringing the Good News of Jesus Christ. We have to move. We can't stay on the battlefield when the victory has been won, NO! The fervour, the drama, the sheer elation of emerging triumphantly in God's eternal Kingdom, adopted into His eternal family stimulates the warrior - whether fresh from the farm or battle-scarred and seasoned - to propel themselves towards nearby persons. This often involved sprinting long distances through treacherous territory to bring the Good News to others.
Who are these "Others"? They are those who wait within walled cities, languishing under oppression from the enemy and no hope to look to.

Imagine how beautiful on the mountain would be the sight of one who brings news (especially good news) of the battle? The outcome of which would decide whether or not those city-dwellers had freedom and prosperity in their land, with fathers, brothers and husbands returning home after being called to arms - and quite possibly with cattle and riches in tow OR if you could expect slavery, or even worse, an army to march on your city and carry off your virgin daughters, burn homes, rape old and young women, piercing pregnant wombs and destroying all evidence that your people ever existed.
Beautiful feet indeed.

This call, to "Go ye therefore" (Matthew 28) is not a suggestion, but clearly the only fitting response after winning the battle with sin and death by surrendering to Jesus and receiving salvation. Referring to Strong's Lexicon, I was pleased to learn that the greek word poreoumai (which is used here for the word go) has this meaning:

~to pursue the journey on which one has entered, to continue on one's journey

Which leads me to a conclusion that if after coming to godly sorrow that leads to true repentance for your sin and accepting the sacrifice of Jesus and the forgivness of that sin, unless you SPRING FORTH and run to tell others who are still waiting in the barricaded cities of sin and death to bring them the Good News of Jesus Christ, then you aren't continuing on your spiritual journey. You aren't even entering into it. You stay on the battlefield feeling rather proud of yourself.

We must move! Others have to know!
If you have no idea what I am talking about and have never experienced spiritual feelings that would make you want to do backflips in the air and shout out in a public place out of sheer love for Jesus, then I adjure you to ask yourself whether or not you have truly had an experience with a Living God.
Otherwise, the deal is to Go...bring someone some Good News!

Death and Glory

2005-06-07T21:45:00.000-07:00

In 1 Kings 7, Scripture relates the events of Solomon building first the Temple of the Lord (which was denied his father David) where the Lords' Spirit would come to dwell - as well as his own house - the Palace of the Forest of Lebanon where Solomon, his harem and his ego would come to dwell. The Lord spoke strongly to me of the comparison between the two structures, the way they were built and how they were adorned. Basically, Solomon loved the Lord, but practically right next door he builds his own house, which is way bigger than the Temple, more grandiose and pretentious. Then he built its duplicate for his wife - Pharoah's daughter. Seriously. Who did he think he was? Well...in his own mind, he was the king and deserving of certain perks according to tradition, his heart's desire and the influence of surrounding peoples.
It appears to me that Solomon made everything bigger and better than what God had ordained for Himself. Who in their right mind does that? Perhaps it's my small mindedness, or one's perspective changes when you've got untold wealth to play around with, but 90 feet long and 30 feet wide and 45 feet high is good enough for the King of Kings, it seems like a hint to me.
The key for me is that I don't believe that it was Solomon's heart to elevate himself. He just did it cuz he could. How often do I do things just because I can? I can talk myself into all sorts of 'perks' with the reasoning of "I deserve it, look at how well I've done, or how hard I've worked or how the Lord has blessed me with favour..."

I dunno, just some thoghts on a Tuesday night.
Thanks for the 'hangers-onners' who've stuck around after my blog hiatus...I jsut need a bit of a warm-up.

In Jesus' Holy Name.

2005-04-04T14:55:00.000-07:00

“When I want to end a relationship, I just say, ‘You know, I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have your children.’ Sometimes they leave skid marks.” (Comedian Rita Rudner)

It's funny how honesty plays out in relationships. Or maybe it's not that funny at all. I'm learning how to communicate more effective through this exercise called "active listening". How it works is one person says something and the other person responds with what they heard the first person say. Then the first person either confirms that that was what they were saying or clarifies the error. It sounds ridiculous, but it's a pretty powerful tool when wielded properly.
For example. someone that I am in close relationship with recently said to me (when I asked him what he was thinking about) "Nothing I feel like sharing with you." So, here's where the exercise kicked it. In response, I say "Y'know, when you say that, I hear 'I don't want to talk to you about it because I choose to keep my feelings to myself and shut you out - I don't want intimacy with you.'
I know. It's a bit of an interpretation. (!)
So then he responds with "Nooo...I just don't want to talk to you about what I'm thinking about."
The deal is that from my life and my experiences, I have built up an internal filter. Everything that I see and hear moves through this filter and are then interpreted based on my past experiences and potentially rotten core beliefs and I respond to the person based on my interpretation rather than what the person actually said. Let me tell ya, it causes MORE fights...but, it teaches me what my really filter is (because I have to speak it out) and what parts are unhealthy and even just not even true and so require a total rehaul.
This is where Romans 12:2 kicks in for me. I have been walking in conformity to the world's patterns for so long that to all of a sudden switch into Kingdom gear from sin city is impossible - what I need is some HOLY SPIRIT TRANSFORMATION so that my mind can be renewed - bathed with the cleansing truth of God's Kingdom.
I love it - and it's because as I come into alignment with ultimate truth, I feel as though I HAVE that spirit of power, love and especially SOUND MIND, or self-control. Therefore, I am interpreting what I see and hear based on the truth that lives within me, not lies.
I am NO LONGER at the mercy of the demonic who have access to my 'soul', manipulating emotional strings and turn me into some twisted marionette who feels out of control instead of a daughter of the Most High King. The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. This is just one of his schemes. Victory is ours though!

However, the truth of all of this, is that it's a process...and the way it works for me, is to become 'aware' of the worldly pattern, experience a repulsion for it that leads to godly sorrow that leads to repentance which leads to transformation. Sounds straightforward when I write it out, but as I live it out, it gets pretty messy.
I appreciate it though - one of my favourite qualities of my Father is that He never stops perfecting me. I'm His workmanship, both complete in Him and continually renewed through Him.
Hallelujah.

2005-03-19T14:31:00.000-08:00

I've been praying lately that God would draw me into greater levels of maturity, but I've been reflecting also on the reality of 'growing up'.
I'll give you an example, when I was a teenager, I participated in a 3 month student exchange to Quebec. Inevitably a time of homesickness,loneliness, frustration and discouragement peaked and during the third month, about three weeks shy of returning to Ontario, I called my parents in tears, begging them to let me quit and come home. Logically, I knew in my head that I just had to stick it out and in due time circumstances would shift and everything would get better, that this moment was just a hurdle in the final stretch of the journey but my heart felt like it was at it's breaking point.

So the thing about growing up is that the hurdle still exists for me - it's when I am on the final stretch of a big spiritual learning curve. The deal is that NOW when I get to that place of homesickness (for the 'easier' times) loneliness, frustration and discouragement and I call my parents, I just can't bring myself to tell them that I want to come home...I know that they can't make that decisio for me. So I just hold back the tears on my end of the line and reassure them that I'm happy and that I'm making good decisions and that everything will work out.

So in my opinion, growing up stinks.

Maybe the maturity part though, is that when I am in that tough place, to realize that I just have to tread water for a little while longer and then the tides will change and relief will come and I will emerge from the deep waters stronger (in Him) and weaker (in Him!).

"...in the day of trouble He will keep me safe in his dwelling;

He will hide me in the shelter of His tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.

Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me..." Psalm 27:5-6

Shake off the dust Daughter of Zion!

2005-03-19T14:12:00.000-08:00

I went for a walk in the dark last night.
I walked for several blocks before I realized that I had no clear destination. So I stopped on the street corner and FELT.
What I FELT was lonely.
I didn't like that feeling much, although we've met on several occasions. The night just started to FEEL darker the longer I stood there. I thought to myself, don't get to hard on yourself - the Apostle Paul must've felt lonely at times. There must've been days in the midst of the fight where he stopped walking and sat down at the side of the dusty roman road and just felt lonely - maybe he had times where he had no clear destination. (So often I confine Paul to being this two-dimensional character in a story and forget he was a real man. I bet we would have had some great talks) one thing that we would agree on is to choose not to feel alone and instead lean on th unseen perhaps unfelt Immanuel presence.
When I begin to feel lonely, I can make the CHOICE to believe the lie that I am indeed all alone and sink deeper into darkness OR believ in the absolute Truth that He will never leave me. It's enough to make me shake off the dust, rise up and dance again...

2005-03-18T14:48:00.000-08:00

Just when you thought you'd heard the last from me...

I wrote this thought in my daytimer a few weeks ago. It serves as Yahweh's reminder to me through these times of intense warfare:

"It was the Israelites job to tell the squatters dwelling in their Promised Land to leave and then to walk in and claim it."

God prepares my way, but I also need to kick in and be aggressive about my Christianity and kick out the demons, cry out for a deeper revelation of Jesus and pray without ceasing. To tell all the unlawful dwellers of the Promised Land of God's plan for my life to get out and then walk in in confidence.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified;Do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

2005-03-18T14:34:00.000-08:00

Greetings faithful friends!
If you are reading this, you obviously check back every now and again, and haven't totally given up on me.

God bless you.
Thanks for your encouragement (D!)

I only have a couple of minutes before I need to head out, but I knew I had to get something down to get the ball rolling.

I wrote this in my daytimer a few weeks ago. It serves as Yahweh's reminder to me through these times of warfare:

"It was the Israelites job to tell the squatters dwelling in their Promised Land to leave and then to walk in and claim it."

God prepares my way, but I also need to kick in and be aggressive about my Christianity and kick out the demons, cry out for a deeper revelation of Jesus and pray without ceasing. To tell all the unlawful dwellers of MY Promised Land to get out and then walk in in confidence.

2005-02-25T18:23:00.003-08:00

On the way home from The War Room this morning (2am-ish) I ran into my friend Phil. He was outside of the Crosswalk, digging in the cracks of the sidewalk, looking (ironically enough) for crack. He looked so bad, that I thought he was this other guy named Dave. I actually called him Dave by mistake, but he turned around anyways (maybe being Dave has its perks). I ended up stopping to listen to him. It was about an hour before I crawled gratefully into bed, after getting Phil bandaged up (he apparently was in a fight with some rich drunk guys who whacked him over the head with a full beer bottle and then urinated on him) and hugged. I got that there was nothing more that I could do for him. There was no shelter. No food. No clothing. No meds. No phone. No options. All I could give him was my attention and my prayers. Talk about helplessness. It's one thing for Phil to feel helpless to help himself, but I felt helpless to help him. I know Yahweh is teaching me something in it all though - it's just trying to articulate it!

Then this morning on my way back into The War Room (The War College is on reading week!) I walked past a girl huddled and hunched over in a doorway on Hastings street just past the safe injection site. I walked past, even though I 'saw' her. (Like with the Samaritan's eyes - checkout Luke 10) The funny thing was that there was another girl across from her in the same doorway, but it wasn't the same. I continued to walk , but Holy Spirit did this thing He does, where He seems to tie a rope to her and a rope around my insides, so that the further I walk past her, the stronger the pull to return is until I either submit and turn around or rebel and resist far enough for the rope to snap. (Trust me though - that's never the way to go!)

So I stopped and turned around and walked back to where the girl was and knelt down next to her and asked her if she was OK. She said 'no' and started to cry. She said that she was dopesick (experiencing withdrawal) and hospital sick. She had sharp pain in her tummy and even though she had been given meds, she didn't feel better. She told me that when she was at the hospital, she had been discharged but didn't want to leave yet because she still had so much pain. The staff ended up calling a security guard to expel her from the property. Tears falling from eyes exuded degradation with every drop. I didn't know what to say, and just like with Phil the night before, I had no physical thing that this woman could possibly use. I asked about going to the free clinic to get herself checked out, or maybe to detox, so that people could look after her. She looked me fully in the face for the first time in our conversation with a broken-down expression. I knew she wasn't going anywhere. I've seen that face before - it's the face that says "I'm just not "done" out here".

I told her that my name was Heather and asked her hers. First she told me her real name - Ann. Then, almost as an afterthough as though she never meant to share the first name she told me her street name - Blacka. I told her that I had been going to walk right past her, but I stopped for a reason. I told her that my Higher Power asked me to stop. I told her that His Name is Jesus and that He wanted her to know that she's not invisible to Him. That He sees her.

At that, she began to stir. She reached her hand up to the filthy window grate as if to pull herself up, but there was no strength in those young biceps.

I said, "I'm sorry Ann. I wish that I could do more to help you."

The last words she spoke to me were "You can help me up."
When she stood, I was surprised at her frame. She was much taller than she had first appeared. Her shoulders were broad, though stooped and her legs were long, though gangly and bruised. Suddenly she seemed beautiful and graceful all at once.

As I removed my hand from under her arm, she turned her back to me and I read my cue. She was done talking to me. I turned around and walked on. My heart hurt, but Holy Spirit was satisfied.

It seems to me that I feel so much better when I can give someone in need something tangible - a coat, a sandwich, a number to call for help. That is when I am satisfied that I have given and that they have received and the need has been met. In those moments, it is almost as though I don't need to rely on Jesus for THAT. However, when I have nothing tangible to give away, I realize that all of it - though useful - is also meaningless.

When I have nothing physical to give, that is when I must rely desparately on Jesus to tell me what the person really needs from me. It's obviously a way more effective method, but it requires more on my part, because Jesus always gives His heart for that soul and then He asks you to share it with the person. That's a lot harder than handing over a coffee to one person in a line of fifty.

I wonder at that. He wants more from me than the ability to hand stuff out and be the divine dispensary. It may begin that way, but growth and forward movement will always come. He gets tired of us always bringing 'stuff' as an offering. What He wants is a broken heart. (Psalm 51:17) It's easier to bring a physical sacrifice though! But, if I don't offer a broken heart on behalf of Ann or Phil, who will? Anyone can come down and hand out sweaters, sandwiches and hot chocolate - Christian or not - but who will weep for the lost souls?

2005-02-25T18:23:00.002-08:00

If we've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if His love has made ANY difference in our lives, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to us, then:

~agree with each other
~love each other
~be deep-spirited friends

DON'T push your way to the front
DON'T sweet-talk your way to the top

~put yourself aside
~help others get ahead

DON'T be obsessed with getting your own advantage

~forget yourself long enough to lend a hand.

Let's think of ourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of Himself. He had equal status with God, but didn't think so much of Himself that He had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what.
Not at all.
He didn't claim special priveleges.
Instead He lived a selfless, obedient life.

Phillipians 2 - The Message

My friends, this is true Christlikeness.
Yes please Holy Spirit - bring it on!

2005-02-25T18:23:00.001-08:00

"be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Don't copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Then you will learn form your own experience how His ways will really satisfy you. (Romans 12:2 TLB)

1.) what worldy behaviors/customs are you still caught up in?
2.) will you give them up when Jesus asks you to?

If so, the results will be:

~a new and different person, fit for God's work
~fresh newness in action and thought life (THAT'S a relief!)
~you'll be a living witness that the Lord's ways are WAY more satisfying than anything the world offers

So, look around - what can you get rid of?

2005-02-25T18:23:00.000-08:00

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing..."
Phillipians 2:3-5,7a

Christ made Himself NOTHING.

The KJV says in verse 7 that Christ made Himself 'of no reputation'.

Let's look into that. I shall eagerly reach for my dictionary:

reputation: the general estimation in which a person is held by the public; The state of being held in high esteem.
esteem:to regard with respect
respect: admiration, politeness rising from this respect
politeness: socially correct
refine: remove impurities or defects from; make elegant or cultured
cultured: develop understanding of litereature, art and music

This may all seem rather disconnected, but here is what I'm getting at.

Christ's example to us to to make Himself nothing, of no reputation in the eyes of the world:

Therefore
-He had no esteem in the public's eyes
-He was not regarded with 'respect'
-He was not held captive by 'social correctness' and politeness
-He did not receive the what the world deems refinement
-He was not made elegant or 'cultured' to sway the hearts of men

We are not called to be a socially correct, polite, publicly adored Army.
We must choose to leave our vainglorious pursuit of world estimation and turn instead to world domination for Christ's sake, through His example. Phillipians 2: 5-8

What do you choose?

who will save me from this body of death?

2005-01-30T15:37:00.000-08:00

I've come to notice this disturbing tendency I have. I may as well get it out in the open so the Light is on it. I find that when I am struggling in life and twisted up between schemes of the enemy and the guile of my own sinful nature and downright miserable, though the thing I crave the MOST is prayer and support, I have this ridiculous block to doing so.
I'm not sure what to label it as -fear of being open and vulnerable, to proud to admit I'm struggling, worry that if people know I'm struggling they won't trust me with responsibility in our community or with their own struggles - and I guess it doesn't matter what it's CALLED, only that it is overcome.

As I type this, I GET how ridiculous it sounds, as in, obviously God wants me to be able to confess all sorts of things to my brothers and sisters so that I may be healed, receive prayer, encouragement, support and accountability. But just spitting things out is like pulling teeth.

Praise the Lord for friends who aren't afraid to ask (cuz I KNOW I wear my feelings all over my face anyways)
Friends like you.

But if Christ is in you... your spirit is alive because of righteousness.

2005-01-29T18:00:00.000-08:00

another one from back in the day - August 2003

My life must be Christ's broken bread,
My love his outpoured wine...

My all is in the Master's hands
For him to bless and break;
Beond the brook his winepress stands
And thence my way I take,
Resolved the whole of love's demands
To give, for his dear sake.

-Albert Orsborn

When I meditate on the first two lines of that song, I think about
Scripture that I read yesterday, and I wonder at the meaning of it all.

"You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart"
Psalm 51:16-17

"Regarding Communion, remember that it is a mystery. Christ in us is
unexplainable yet so very real. For all that God has revealed, there is so
much more that we do not know. We need to embrace the mystery."
John Norton

Christ in me is entirely unexplainable. A mystery. Will I embrace this mystery?

--------------------------------------

from the archives

2005-01-29T17:37:00.000-08:00

While searching for some encouragement to lift my spirits amongst old emails, I came across this letter I sent to an esteemed mentor friend of mine. It fits for today, and even though I wrote it in April of 2003 it's still my process. I welcome insight!

let's talk about Luke 14:33.

"Simply put, if you're not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it good-bye, you can't be my disciple"

ok, now that's the Message translation, but you catch the drift eh? I really really like that verse.�What a struggle it is to be followers of Christ.� It's such a plunge, really.� In the beginning, it's like�as soon as we give ourselves over to God's control, that THAT is the biggest hurdle.�

Maybe it is.�

I certainly wasn't prepared for what would come afterwards.� The constant, daily�struggle��to GIVE OVER to God the stuff in my life that I HOLD DEAR.� The stuff that I cling to, the stuff that find pleasure in.�

Man, my sinful nature tears me apart!�

Dying daily to sin, well, THAT certainly wasn't brought up in the beginning, in the sr. soldier classes, in the personal testimonies.� Although, I wouldn't have grasped the magnitude of it, it even if it was...as in what that really means to die to sins and how it feels.�

Dying to sin...yeah.� But I am so prone to sinful behavior that when I deny it, I deny my self-gratification, which (especially in MY life) has had the rule of the roost for over 25 years.� It's HARD to deny myself!� It is actually physically painful at times!!� Emotionally excruciating!� It goes against MY NATURE!�

So now, I imagine a God SO HUGE, SO IMPORTANT, SO WORTH IT that I will actually go through�all of this physical�and emotional anguish of withdrawal from sin to be more pleasing to Him.�

hmm.

that's powerful stuff.

I wonder, what is this that I am striving for?� Is this what sanctification is? The act of becoming holy?

So I ran for my study tool,�this is from the Easton Bible dictionary definition on sanctification:

"The more holy a man is, the more humble, self-renouncing, self-abhorring, and the more sensitive to every sin he becomes, and the more closely he clings to Christ. The moral imperfections which cling to him he feels to be sins, which he laments and strives to overcome. Believers find that their life is a constant warfare, and they need to take the kingdom of heaven by storm, and watch while they pray."

I feel like my life is like that...a constant warfare between the woman that God is growing me into being, and what my sinful nature�wants me to indulge in.� The mere fact that my nature is in opposition to what God wants is something that I haven't really considered before.�

Y'know, God must realize how difficult it is for us to sacrifice in this way! I guess, Jesus obviously does.� He knows how hard it is, and yet He still asks for it.� Demands it.� I drives me nuts sometimes that little things that never would have bothered me about myself even a month ago feel dirty and loathsome to me all of sudden.� *sigh* that must be the first part - me becoming more self-renouncing and self-abhorring.� Sensitive to every sin.� It's frightening.� Soon, there won't be any of the original me left.

but that's God's plan.

wow. God certainly is wild and crazy.

Does it get easier?�
Does the desire to please God outgrow the�reluctance towards�gouging out sinful behaviour? �

where did this Heather go?

2005-01-28T17:48:00.000-08:00

from December, 2002

So tonight I was reading Psalm 40.

The most significant thing that i read:

"He lifted me from the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire.� He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.� He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord"�
Psalm 40:2-3

What does God want me to do in response?
-remember where I came from that - gross disgusting pit of sin and remember what gifts God's grace and salvation are that i don't have to go back there
-that my sinful ways are like slime and mud and mire, even now when i am clothed in the white pureness of His love...which makes them stand out more when i do sin
-He LIFTED me up to a BETTER place where I could STAND-a firm place- on the rock
-He put a new song in my mouth and i need to sing it all the time and not let other words come outta my mouth like gossip and cursing, deceitfulness, hate and self-glory. Just words that honour Him, not words that would make Him ashamed of me. -people are going to see and i guess have already seen all these changes in me and when I give the glory back to Him and name Him as my Saviour, they, not knowing what it's exactly all about (fearing) will put their trust in God and He'll lift them out too.
The best part is the first line...that is exactly how I feel about my rebirth...like His hand reached down into a dark pit for me specifically and kept lifting me even though i was hideous and dirty and disgusting...so me and the guy that wrote that psalm totally had something in common...that's cool to think about.

There is so much here to think about.� I wonder though, how long it'll take for this all to sweep through my everday life. Sometimes i feel like this stuff that i write and think about and feel so passionately about at this exact moment fades slightly by the morning when i wake up,so the way that i feel right now is just a vagueness...something that i can't quite nail down and start my day with. How do I pull it through? How do I let my "light so shine" when i feel like it is constantly flickering on and off?
Maybe it is something that comes with time and practice, but i don't WANT to wait. I feel like the longer i am a Christian here the more "experience" i get, the more "accustomed" i become,� the farther i am from that initial joy of my salvation.
I don't want to be like a lot of the others I see.
I don't want God to spit me out and call me lukewarm.�
1 Thess. 5:19 orders us "do not put out the Spirit's fire" but that is what i do. I throw a blanket over it when it suits me. I throw a bucket of water on it, watch it start to die and then rush back in and try to light it up again. So sporadic.
How do I deal with this?
I've been praying, but I guess it's a spiritual discipline thing. I feel like there is so much that i don't know.� My self-control button must be broken cuz i seem to have none lately, old habits are creeping around.� Not the stuff like alcohol or smoking or physical sins...but gossip and deceitfulness and taking offense, impatience.� That stuff is way harder for me to deal with because no one is forcing me, I am permitting myself. No one is offerring me a beer or taking me to the casino...i can deal with that.
Maybe the problem here is self-honesty and self-truth...

If I had a hammer...

2005-01-26T13:56:00.000-08:00

In Isaiah 22, Isaiah prophesys that Eliakim, son of Hilkiah will replace Shebna as the stweard in charge of all the king's affairs. He says: "I'll dress him in your robe, I'll put your belt on him. I'll give him your authority."

That's cool because God gives out and takes back authority however he pleases. He can give ME somebody else's authority, or pass mine along to someone else...depending on my stewardship.

Then the Lord says: "I'll pound him like a nail into the wall."
A nail's function is to be IN the wall holding something up. Getting the nail in is what's uncomfortable. God creates us for a certain purpose in His Kingdom, and it takes disciplining from the Lord to get us into that ordained position.
Once the nail is in position, something can be hung on it.
Similarly, once we are in position, the Lord can add responsibility to us, authority to us greater anointing to us, greater humility to us and so on.
The more firmly fastened (disciplined) the nail (believer) is into the wall (Father/Son/Holy Spirit) the more weight can rest upon her.
So are you a dangly, skinny nail some Grade 9 student is banging in during shop class or are you a big fat stud driven in by a power tool?

Don't run around naked...

2005-01-26T13:35:00.000-08:00

"...in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:5

Did you get that? CLOTHE yourself with humility. Maybe you could put it on just after your socks in the morning...it's very important. The cloak of humility is like a cloak of protection - like an invisibility we put on - a la Lord of the Rings - to be hidden from the enemy. If you don't have that on, you'll be bound for destruction and easily picked off my the enemy.

"Don't call attention to yourself; let others do that for you." Proverbs 27:2 The Message

For more on that, check out Rick Joyner's book "Final Quest"

Building Up The Temple

2005-01-25T17:36:00.000-08:00

Did you ever read the book of Haggai? It’s good stuff. The Lord sends his prophet Haggai to the Governor of Judah (Zerubabbel) and also to the High Priest (Joshua) with a message. It’s not a pleasant message, in fact, it’s rather convicting. This is what the Lord thought of the plans they had been making:

“Why is everyone saying it is not the right time for rebuilding my Temple? Is it then the right time for you to live in luxurious homes, when the Temple lies in ruins?” Haggai 1: 2-3 TLB

Hmm…strong words! I can imagine how it all went down. Haggai arriving at the meeting place to be ushered into the sumptuously decorated chambers and seated in a plush reclining chair around a highly polished mahogany table (worth a fortune) and offered the finest refreshments. Only to hear the discussion ‘Yeahhh...we just don’t feel the timing is right financially on this whole Temple-rebuild project. Let’s reschedule a meeting for next quarter to re-visit the proposal.’ Then everyone goes home to their mansions with the four car garages and tennis courts and room for a pony…in other words, we have the resources, but we’d rather spend them on ourselves and live it up selfishly with our pony than to give our tithe to the Lord for His holy Temple to be rebuilt.

This is a BIG DEAL. The Temple that they were putting off building was where our Jesus spent a whole lot of time when He arrived on the scene. He performed healings in this Temple, the blind were given sight, and the crippled were restored. He taught the people in a way that they could understand, which must have been refreshing, because in that day, only those born into certain roles were taught to read, understand and think for themselves, so when the people came to the Temple for worship, the guy giving the ‘message’ was like a Harvard professor preaching to a class of Grade 6 students. The Temple is where Jesus had verbal skirmishes with the ‘self-important’ – the Pharisees, Sadducees and teachers of the law. It’s where Judas Iscariot felt the burn of conviction and cried out to the chief priests that he had betrayed an innocent man and then thrown down the thirty pieces of silver. It is the Temple that was destroyed upon Jesus’ death; the curtain separating the Holy of Holies, torn in two.
THIS is the Temple that Zerubbabel the governor and Joshua the priest were hemming and hawing about building.

They were dragging their feet because up until that point they were using the resources that God gave them to live enjoyable, comfortable lives. So, the Lord does what He always does when He wants to bring a message to His people. He sends a prophet to give the Word, and an apostle to lead them into carrying it out. The Lord sends Haggai to the people and begins to prepare Nehemiah to come and spur them on. He was raising up people in the community not only to go and speak out the plans that He wanted to come about, but also equipping and sending out those who would implement the vision and work to make it possible.
First the prophet and then the apostle.

What does that speak to us today? Consider this: that the Temple WE are building is not one of dead rock, but out of believers:

“and now you have become living building-stones for God’s use in building His house.” 1 Peter 2:5

We hold back, not solely in our money, old clothes we could be giving away or the extra room that we could invite someone to stay in but when we don’t live simply.
We don’t give the Word of God our full attention, rushing through a skimpy devotional just to be able to say ‘well, at least that’s done’.

We don’t spend the time in prayer – just doing all the talking and not pausing to listen because we don’t expect God to even say anything to us anyway and besides, we’d rather go watch TV…we are holding back.

We are building up our own household of sinful flesh rather than denying ourselves and giving our all to be a living building-stone in the eternal Temple of the King of Kings. We drag our feet because we too are using the resources God gave us to live out comfortable lives.
We can look back at Joshua and Zerubbabel and at their reluctance to change, but we can also look ahead to all that God would do through the Temple that He wanted built. Our position in history affords us the knowledge that the Temple simply HAD to be built, and WOULD be built, even if that meant a little self-denial on the part of the people.

The same message holds true for us today. We have a reluctance to be self-sacrificial and to deny ourselves, but we can’t even begin to imagine all that God will do through His living Temple, the Church – and through each individual building-stone.

“Building up the Temple, building up the Temple,
building up the Temple of the Lord
Boys won’t you help us? Girls won’t you help us?
Building up the Temple of the Lord.”

The Secret Believers

2005-01-24T17:37:00.000-08:00

Good morning Church,

In John 12:42-43, it says this:

“Many people, including some of the Jewish leaders, believed in Him. But they wouldn’t admit it to anyone because of their fear that the Pharisees would expel them from the synagogue. For they loved human praise more than the praise of God.” NLT

Paul, a former Pharisee speaks on this point: (you can read his testimony in Acts 26:4 and on)

“Obviously, I’m not trying to be a people-pleaser! No, I am trying to please God. If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ’s servant.” Galatians 1:10 NLT

Paul got it. We are not meant to be people-pleasers, but we are designed to seek the praise of God. Is it possible that Paul was familiar with the spiritual temperature back there in Bethany? (John 12:42-43) Would he have been one of the oppressive, suspicious Pharisees examining the other men in his sect, looking for any indication that they may be “Jesus-sympathizers” or even “Jesus-lovers”?

I wonder what it would have felt like, to be witnessing these miraculous acts of Christ and, having your heart awakened to the reality of it all, brimming with belief, but laced with fear.
What if someone finds out?
Are they watching me?
I don’t want to lose my job – or my status in the community.
I daresay that there are those among us who may have unknowingly fallen amongst the crowd of doubting, pharisaical types, but find that the Living God is revealing Himself to them in all sorts of tangible, believable ways. Hmm…dilemma. Everything that they have learned and experienced (or been told is their experience) declares that God simply does not exist in this way. And yet.
Jesus IS alive.
Holy Spirit IS actually a person.
People who used to be blind are being healed.
Those who were diagnosed with cancer are receiving clean bills of health.
Words of knowledge, things only God knows about us are being spoken by everyday believers through the power of God to bring about salvation.
The dead are being raised.
I’m not making this up to be shocking.
It’s not an exaggeration. It’s real.
Many people, including some Church leaders, believe in these things and it may even be a part of their ‘Christian experience’, but they won’t admit it to anyone or provide resources or support and encouragement in the places where God is moving because of their fear that they would be expelled from their place in the “religious community”.

They are those who love they taste of human praise above that of God.
Like those men of old, they remain ‘secret believers’.

Secret believers out of FEAR. We know from Scripture that fear is not from God. For God has NOT given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline. So you must never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord. (2 Timothy 1:7-8 NLT)

Would you do service for Jesus your King?
There’s power in the blood, power in the blood!
Would you live daily His praises to sing?
There’s wonderful power in the blood!
SASB 281

Holy Ghost Wish List - 2003

2005-01-22T13:48:00.000-08:00

I came across this list that I made in September of 2003:

1.) convictions of steel
2.) to take great joy in Holy Spirit
3.) desert dead idols in my life so I can embrace and fully serve the Living God
4.) expectantly await Jesus’ arrival
5.) be sure of myself in God, so that I can go right ahead and say my peace/piece (!)
6.) not try to come across as important
7.) not to be content with just passing on a message, but to give my heart, too
8.) be infused with strength and purity, filled with confidence in the presence of God
9.) do what I do to please God in a spirited dance
10.) appreciate and give dignity to my body
11.) stay calm, mind my own business
12.) honour my leaders, especially those who work hard for me and urge me and guide me in obedience. I want to overwhelm them with appreciation and love.
13.) Reach out for the exhausted and pull them to their feet
14.) When others get on my nerves, not to snap at them
15.) Look for the best in others
16.) be cheerful no matter what
17.) pray all that time.
18.) Thank God, whatever happens.

Just who IS the Church anyway?

2005-01-21T13:50:00.000-08:00

I watched a teaching video recently where the preacher addressed those attending the conference as “church”. “Are you listening Church?” she would ask. “Do you get it Church?” Initially I found this amusing and then I realized how appropriate it was.
The majority of us Christians have fallen into the false belief that the church is the building that we go to on Sundays to worship in. That’s not accurate. Jesus isn’t coming back to marry a building, He’s coming back for His Bride, the Church. That’s us. The people of God are the Church. The Ekklesia in the Basilia – the people of God in the Kingdom of God.

On Sunday morning we go to God’s House, but when the meeting is over, Church leaves the building. One thing that struck me about calling the congregation ‘Church’ was that it forced me to embrace my identity and therefore my destiny. Who cares for the widow? The Church. Who cares for the orphan? The Church. Who aligns itself with the poor? The Church.

Some seem to have bought into a myth that although they are a Christian, they don’t have to be a part of the Church. It just doesn’t work that way. 1 Corinthians 3:9 declares that WE are God’s building.
So, do you get it Church?

2005-01-20T20:46:00.000-08:00

"Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter and not just do what is most convenient for us.

Strength is for service, not status.

Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, 'How can I help?"

Romans 15:1-2 The Message

Look around you, how can you help?

2005-01-19T21:02:00.000-08:00

I get a lot of flack for my stance on Christianity and alcohol. In my opinion, they don't mix. As a matter of fact, I don't even believe that Christians, true professors of the Risen Christ, walking in the baptism of Holy Spirit should be repelled at the thought of ever knockin' back a beer.

The last time I went down this road, it was rocky to say the least, but I feel that I MUST press in. Clickclick goes my seatbelt...

Friends of mine are lovers of Jesus. I've seen the evidence of that. They move in the manifest presence of Holy Spirit. I've seen evidence of that too. They have tasted and seen that the Lord is good, they have felt His Hand directing their movement, their speech their thought life. The Spirit himself has testified with their spirit that they are God's children. (Romans 8:16).

So WHY when you have received ALL of this supernatural experience would you reach for a drink? Or two, or three...or even one?
Where does the need for that come from?

We know that God is Creator. In fact, as Salvationists, we covenantly agree that He is the Creator, Preserver and Governor of all things. Satan, conversely, is NOT any of those things, although he would like to be. The closest he can come is to be the big imitator, twisting what God has created in beauty and love into something contemptible and loathsome, becoming the counterfeit, destroyer and tyrant of those whom are enslaved beneath his cruel mastery.
Therefore, if satan is the grand copycat, what is he mimicking in the realm of alcohol? (and drugs)

"Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit." (Ephesians 5:18)
Debauchery - Extreme indulgence in sensual pleasures

The deal is this: God's plan if for His children to be filled with Holy Spirit, the part of Him that dwells within us, who communicates with our own spirits and reveals to us the deep things of the Father. For, "no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God...the Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him but God HAS revealed it to us BY his Spirit." (2 Corinthians 2:11,10,9)

God meets with us in our spirit. His Spirit communicates with our spirit. The result can be speaking in the gift of tongues -Acts 2:4, to receive power (Greek word is dunamis which translates to power for performing miracles and for moral power and excellence of soul) - Acts 1:8, to be witnesses (Greek word translates to one who is a specatator of anything)- Acts 1:8
teaching us just what to say - Luke 12:12, guiding us into all truth - John 16:13 and so on and so on. That is what God created for us. How has the enemy twisted that? By taking alcohol and using it to block our spirit which communicates with God. How so? Well, when you indulge the sinful nature you are out of alignment and using something other than Holy Spirit to intoxicate yourself. "Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit." So it's either this (wine) or that (Holy Spirit)

What the heck! isn't the choice obvious?

Now my friends, regarding the argument of social drinking and how it's ok to only have one or two drinks every now or then, Paul speaks to that if you look closely: "Do not get drunk on wine, which LEADS to debauchery." It's all about a process. Just as being a Christian is a journey, so is the pathway to sin. Note Psalm 1:1. First we walk, then we stop and then we sit. Blessed is the man that doesn't even go there!

Instead, be filled with the Spirit.

Filled - greek- pleroo = to fill to the top: so that nothing shall be wanting

Therefore, does the need to kick back and drink indicate that there is something within us that is not being filled? That is left wanting? Instead of conforming to the pattern of the world and filling yourself with satan's nectar be transformed. Let Holy Spirit fill you instead and make you complete and lacking nothing.

"Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have." Proverbs 4:7

2005-01-19T19:54:00.000-08:00

"Authors of self-help books (should) be require to provide proof that they have actually helped themselves." -writer Jane Wagner

The Word admonishes believers to not walk in the counsel of the wicked (Psalm 1:1).
Given this word of instruction, how is it that we are so keen to pick up the 'latest read' from the secular market on the recommendation of your unsaved friend, who found it SOOO helpful? Whether it's a book on how to raise your kids right, how to relate to your mate so that you stay together, how to run your business or whatEVER, there is a book of how-to for anything you might-do. Be alert! This is the lure of the world, to draw Christians in with their deadly and attractively-packaged wisdom. It is false, for it is impossible for someone who doesn't know Yahweh to have wisdom.

"the LORD gives wisdom,and from His mouth come knowledge and understanding" Proverbs 2:6

The Lord parcels it out as He sees fit. It is inconceivable for man to find wisdom in his own way, because:

"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." Proverbs 9:10

Therefore, if the fear (holy reverence, respectful awe) of the Lord is not present in an individual, nor any knowledge of the Holy One, there can be NO wisdom. The word wicked (Rasha) has the hebrew meaning of one who is criminal, hostile to God and guilty of sin (against God or man). For goodness sake, why would you want to take any advice from those folks!

Now, now - I can already hear the collective dissatisfied exhalations, 'Heather - there is much that the world has to offer in terms of books with life application and insight that we Christians would be well off to read and use in OUR daily lives...the 'world' could teach us much...' and I STILL won't agree...regardless of what you've read, the world can never give us true wisdom, and anything useful that you read from a non-Christian offer was just ripped off from the Bible.
It is impossible for someone who doesn't know Yahweh to have wisdom.

I once received a teaching on Psalm 1 that I share here as an illustration of wickedness' goal:
In Psalm 1 we see evidence that there is a progression of fellowship with wickedness. Firstly, one merely walks alongside it, sharing paths. Then one will stop and stand with wickedness-ceasing any forward movement in one's journey and participating in the course of life and moral character of the ungodly. Finally, one installs oneself by actually sitting in the seat of mockers, aligning oneself with wickedness, partnering with it fully. Conversely, "The godly offer good counsel; they know what is right from wrong." Psalm 37:30 NLT

Who do YOU look to when you require guidance?

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:5

from: openingsalvocr.blogspot.com

2005-01-15T18:11:00.000-08:00

I was just visiting the blog of a brother in Christ and found a whopping gem. Enjoy!

"often, we forget we're in a battle until we get hit. the north american gospel spreads this fallacy of xian ease and tranquility, proof-texting itself into a coma. Boulderdash!

Wake yourself, arise and stir yourself up in your most holy faith!!!

j.i packer calls the antithesis hot-tub religion: Who needs to be steward of songbooks at the first church of the fridgidaire, anyway?

"are you tired? burned out on religion?" Jesus says, as Peterson renders Matthew 11:28 in the Message.

Yup, says me.

But I am totally jazzed about the coming revival, the present awakening of the Joshua generation----yet I don't want to be Moses.

"When God calls . . God bids us to come and burn - burn with a new love, a new desire, that will take all the mixed and muddled desires and ambitions and burn till it had refined all that was God-given in them and purged out all that was going in other directions"
N.T. Wright, The Cross and the Fire.

Joshua, the general who took over for Moses, the lawgiver/comforter/counselor. Look at the difference in their language when talking to the people. Moses gives comfort, intercedes for the people. Joshua's language is more directive, less capitulating. When he tries to repent for the people, God says, "Stop praying! Get up!"

Ultramodern parallel: Apostolic launching centres are deploying faith souljers all over the globe; in the 80's and 90's counseling centers were attached to churcheslike crazy .

Joshua has taken over from Moses. Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!

And why, do you ask, do I not want to be Moses? Here's your answer:

"After the death of Moses the servant of the Lord, the Lord said to Joshua son of Nun, Moses aide: 'Moses my servant is dead.'" One mixed motive. . . one outburst in anger, and he couldn't go in to the promised land. Thank God he is in the hall of faith of Hebrews 11

But I don't want to be outmoded and dismantled.....

For you 40-something (did i really say that?) leaders out there, you don't have to slash yourself, wear numerous piercings or dye your hair green to be too hip to be square, but there are some things you can do:

1-Be a spiritual father/ mother: the Joshua generation has had to travel through the desert without father or mother of faith (or sometimes family of origin)

2-Take somebody with you: Moses took Joshua into the Tent of Meeting and by acclimating him to the Presence, Joshua gained the prophetic insight and anointing to be a general.

3-Don't try to hard to be hip: You become a joke then.

4-Do get your illustrations into the late 20th Century at least. I was talking to my son Chaz, who is 7. He has no idea who Michael Jordan is. I've got to retool, fast.

5-Realize that the Joshua generation is techsavy, visual-audio-music-art driven, and that this is ESSENTIAL to the new wineskin.
So what you can't understand the words. It's not for you.

Marshall McLuhan, noted for his classic quote on television: "The medium is the message," also said that Christianity is best communicated en masse because the message and the medium are identical
[logos/eikon: word (John 1)/representation (Colossians 1, Hebrews 1) viz a viz., Jesus]

The recovery of ALL forms of art, music, literature, drama are essential for the new wineskin.
Rap, for example, is not new, nor is it solely gansta-related, but stems from the literature of Paul Lawrence Dunbar and Shakazulu.

So, please, please, please: scrape off your cultural accretions, they are like barnacles on the ship; they only serve to slow Joshua down (like that could really happen!)

6- Don't hold on too tightly to the form of things. Take on the theology of a loose grip.

7-Be a producer. DeGarmo & Key (who?) were hip during the 70's and 80's in CCM-world, but ain't playin now, they're producing. Find fresh new talent, new hungry lions. Pour the life of the Spirit into them. Pour your life, and spiritually reproduce the best of yourself."

pax Christi,

SoulPadre

2005-01-14T17:23:00.000-08:00

I've been reading through Francis Frangipane's book, The Three Battlegrounds. It's been a work in process over months of picking it up and putting it back down. Needless to say, it's been quite a kick at the cat. Not to sell the work short, it is a cornucopia of wisdom and teaching. I have found clarity in its pages and would like to offer some of what I have gleaned on to you.

"It is significant that the process of deliverance quite often involves a season of inner conflict and turmoil. This is a good sign, signifying the individual's will desires to be free. We should expect a time where we must exercise our authority in Christ as we 'resist' the devil (1 Peter 5:9a). Paul speaks of the 'struggle' of the church against principalities and powers. There will be a period of fighting involved in the process of pulling down strongholds, for you are breaking your agreement with a foe who will fight to remain in your life." Francis Frangipane, The Three Battlegrounds, p23

What a Hallelujah resounded from my lips at this revelation! It is lovely to me to read a book that is so commonsensical. I was pleased to receive confirmation of something that I had been experiencing in my spirit. In my Christian walk, I have often felt that I was caught in Romans 7 so I KNOW what that feels like, however these last few weeks have rather been a horse of a different colour. I feel as though I have not sinned - quite the converse- I'm riding the tidal wave of major repentance and deliverance from spirits of manipulation and control.

So why don't I FEEL as though I am free? It actually feels HARDER than it was before!

In the walking out of my freedom, according to Frangipane, I am step by step BREAKING AGREEMENT with the demons who have dwelt with me for so long, and they are actively fighting to remain in my life. No wonder its a challenge! They want back in!

Happily though, I can claim that just because I don't "feel" free doesn't change the truth that I AM free. One of my most treasured quotes (and there are many in the vault) comes from prophet and teacher Patricia King, and is found in her book "Third Heaven, Angels and Other Stuff".

"In the faith realm, feelings are not valid if they are contrary to the truth." p45

Therefore, even though my soul will try to convince me that I am heavy and oppressed and miserable, my spirit man will rise up and speak the truth to me:

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10
"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." John 8:36
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free." Galatians 5:1

Thankyou Yahweh, for the wisdom that pours through your Word, and through the teachings of those who have gone before me.

Regarding Doctrine #5

2005-01-14T14:06:00.000-08:00

Today I find myself wanting to discuss doctrine. Perhaps it is the way the wind is blowing, perhaps it's the call to primitive Salvationism and the responsibility to know what I stand for and what I've signed up to withold.
Regardless, here we are:

"We believe that our first parents were created in a state of innocency, but by their disobedience they lost their purity and happiness, and that in consequence of their fall all men have become sinners, totally depraved, and as such are justly exposed to the wrath of God."

The reality of sin is this:
All fall short of God's glory.

Our hope, however is revealed in Jesus Christ, His teachings, actions, death, resurrection and ascension confirms that there is power, power, wonder-working power in the precious blood of the Lamb and that we can experience a newness of life when we repent and put our trust in Him to lead us.
Jesus Christ becomes the cure. The solution to the problem created by the human race.

William Booth said:

"There are many ways to damnation, but only one to salvation."

I tell you friends, I've seen untold numbers of people in our neighbourhood headed right for hell and the only people who are willing to delve after them into the dark angry ocean of sin and hell, following the example of Christ, are God's people. The 'redeemed'. That's us.
We MUST be willing. We MUST go.
It's painful when I see a brother in a dark corner injecting himself full of death and it's painful when I see a sister, looking to be 16 or 17, so strung out that she doesn't know or care that she's not wearing any shoes, walking towards her dealer, looking for her next fix her body contorting and grotesquely twisting all the way.
Even though it is unavoidably painful...we can never stop. I can never stop.

The Founder also said this:

"I don't want another ecclesiastical corps cumbering the earth. When the Salvation army ceases to be a militant body of red, hot men and women whose supreme business is the saving of souls, I hope it will vanish utterly."

We are challenged to look up on humanity as not only being ruined by sin and disobedience, utterly hopeless and consequently left to live under the compulsion of sin, separated from its Creator...but as a missionfield from which to pull men and women from the Devil's trap, where they are caught and held captive, forced to run his errands. (2 Timothy 2:26, MSG)

How can we be militant or even red hot if we barely acknowledge the reality of hell?

All covenanted soldiers agree that "all men have become sinners, totally depraved, and as such are justly exposed to the wrath of God."

Having said that though, how many soldiers have a concept of the reality of satan, his demons and eternal damnation?
It's an uncomfortable topic to say the least, but I'm sick of not talking about it.

“I saw the opening maw of hell” (Herman Melville)

Can YOU say that you have seen it?

I propose that if we, as soldiers in The Salvation Army, merely toy with the notion of the devil and his minions but don't actually BELIEVE in it's reality then we are merely toy soldiers. Our supreme business will NOT be the saving of souls, for, there is nothing immediate and dangerous to save them from, we will merely mollify and amuse them with our songs and our uniforms and our bourgeois meetings as they slip away into eternal punishment like water through our fingers.

"He is calling on you to jump into the sea, to go right away to His side and help Him in the holy strife. Will you jump? Will you go to His feet and place yourself absolutely at His disposal?
You must do it.
With the light that is now revealed to your mind and the call that is now sounding in your ears, and the beckoning Hands that are now before your eyes, you have no alternative. To go down among the perishing crowds is your duty. Your happiness from now on will consist in sharing their misery, your ease in sharing their pain, your crown in helping them to bear their cross, and your Heaven in going into the very jaws of Hell to rescue them." William Booth

THIS is what it is to be a soldier of the Cross.

Now what will you do?

Prayer Pointers

2005-01-13T13:48:00.000-08:00

One of the top 10's on most Christian's New Year's Resolution lists is to pray more.
Need help in exploring how to spice up your prayer life? Read on:

1.) Determine to work at prayer. Prayer is aggressive, not passive:

"During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission." Hebrews 5:7

"Night and day we pray most earnestly that we may see you again and supply what is lacking in your faith." 1 Thess. 3:10

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful." Colossians 4:2

"Epaphras, who is one of you and a servant of Christ Jesus, sends greetings. He is always wrestling in prayer for you, that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured" Colossians 4:12

2.) Use all means to engage in prayer - stand, walk, move, speak...

3.) Pray every morning and every night. Set a time and a place:

"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful." Joshua 1:8

"Now when Daniel learned that the decree had been published, he went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before." Daniel 6:10

"May my prayer be set before you like incense;may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice." Ps. 141:2

4.) Pray to God. Develop a picture in your mind and address the Lord, so you become more comfortable in the heavenly places so that you feel as though your citizenship changes from earth to Heaven.

5.) Pray the Bible. Learn the language of the Spirit to express your heart:

"This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words." 1 Corinthians 2:13

Begin to pray actual Bible verses and chapters phrase by phrase, slowly and repetitively:

"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful." Joshua 1:8

Make the Word the foundation of your prayer either for yourself or in intercession.

Real Soldiership vs. Cowardly Warfare

2005-01-13T13:31:00.000-08:00

Excerpted from Salvation Army Founder Catherine Booth writings: Popular Chrisianity

The Real Warfare:

First: Christ's soldiers must be IMBUED with the SPIRIT of the WAR.

Love to the King and concern for His interests must be the master passion of the soul.
All outward effort, even that which springs from a sense of duty, will fail without this.
The hardship and suffering involved in real spiritual warfare are too great for any motive but that of love...
A little child who has this spirit will subjugate others to his King, while the most talented and learned and active, without it, will accomplish comparatively little.
If the hearts of the Christians of this generation were inspired with this spirit, and set on WINNING the world for GOD, we should soon see nations shaken to their centre, and MILLIONS of souls translated into the kingdom.

Secondly: The soldiers of Christ must be ABANDONED to the war.

They must be thoroughly committed to God's side: there can be NO NEUTRALS in this warfare...
Some one may ask,

"But we cannot all be ministers, or missionaries, or officers in the Salvation Army; must we not attend to the avocations of this life, and work for the bread that perisheth for ourselves and our families?"

Certainly, but the great end in ALL WE DO must be the promotion of the Kingdom. A man may work in order that he may eat, but he must eat to live, not to himself or for the promotion of his own purposes, but for his King, and for the advancement of His interests; and if his heart is REALLY set on this, he will have NO DESIRE to work at his secular calling longer than is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY to promote this.
When the necessary amount of work is done, he will gladly lay aside his implements of husbandry or handicraft for the sword of the Spirit...
There will be no running away, no forsaking of the cross, no shrinking from the hard places of the field; but a determined pushing of the battle to the gate, even amid weariness, opposition, and sometimes in the face of dire defeat.

Then, third: Christ's soldiers must UNDERSTAND the TACTICS of war.

In order to do this, they must make it a subject of earnest and prayerful study how to make the most of their time, talents, money, or any other resources which God may have placed at their command for the advancement of the kingdom.
They must THINK and SCHEME how best to attack the enemy...
Think also of the shameful indifference--which cannot be characterised as warfare at all--of the ordinary services and arrangements of the churches. It often makes my heart ache as I pass some stately, closed-up church or chapel, with its antiquated board with a shame-faced, insignificant announcement that the "Reverend So-and-so will preach," or a "Gospel address will be delivered" at such a time on such a day; in which it is evident NOTHING is contemplated beyond securing the eye and attention of those who ALREADY HAVE a liking for going to churches or chapels...
WHERE IS THE ZEAL of the Christians of this generation for the Lord of hosts? How much do they care about His reign over the hearts of their fellow-men? What is their appreciation of the present and eternal benefits embraced in His salvation; or what is their estimate of the "crown of life" which He promises to give to every one of His conquering soldiers?

Fourth: The soldiers of Christ must BELIEVE IN VICTORY.

Faith in victory is an indispensable condition to successful warfare of any kind...
The true soldier of Christ, who has the spirit of the war and who is ABANDONED to its interests, has an earnest in his soul of coming victory.
He knows it is ONLY A QUESTION OF TIME, and time is nothing to love!
As he is lying in the trenches, or taking long marches, or suffering for the want of common necessaries, or enduring the sharpest bayonets or heaviest fire of the enemy, or lying wounded, overcome by fatigue, pressed by discouragement, realizing the greatness of the conflict in contrast with his own weakness--in the very darkest hours and severest straits, he has the herald of COMING VICTORY sounding in his ears...
This faith inspires him to endure hardship and to suffer loss, to hold on.
He NEVER thinks of turning his back to the foe, or shirking the cross, or turning the stones into bread, or of trying to shorten the march...
He looks onward through the dark clouds to the proud moment when the King will say, "Well done, good and faithful servant!" He listens, and above the din of the earthly conflict he hears the words,

"Be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life!"

Hallelujah...where are you today Catherine?

Words have power

2005-01-03T23:13:00.000-08:00

IN a testimony I gave last year, I impulsively chose to adopt these Words from the book of James:

Faith Under Pressure

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."

James 1:2-4 The Message

Ever since that moment, whenever I am feeling overwhelmed with the ferocity of my sinful nature or spiritual attack from the enemy and am tempted to become embittered and start complaining and slide into a general 'snit' (as my father would say) Holy Spirit draws me gently but firmly back to James 1:2-4.

Consider it a sheer gift.

Having just had Christmas, and having been blessed with a package or two under the tree, I GET the idea of gifts. Seeing it sitting there, the anticipation of opening it and enjoying whatever is inside, allowing it to bring a smile to my face and delighting in it for years to come...

but tests and challenges...how can I consider those to be gifts?

The deal is that if you're going through something that feels unbearable (trust me, I'm with you) all that is happening is that God is growing your faith and building maturity. He is making you complete. So no worries - you're not a complete failure and God still loves you. As a matter of fact, He's ensuring that you and I become well-developed, not deficient in ANY way. He is making us holy. He is making us perfect.

Until then, 'mid all the traffic of the way, turmoil without, within', allow me to share with you the wise words of my brother Jacktor Mfon Akpan:

"As long as we smile, the enemy shall remain confused."

Glory to God,
Ruhani

The Love Chapter

2005-01-03T23:06:00.000-08:00

Instead of just reading through this portion of Scripture easily, consider each statement and attach a picture to it - what does it mean that love doesn't want what it doesn't have? Attach a personal experience to it - Do you have a love relationship in which you have not 'kept score'? Have you experienced the kind of love that isn't always me first?

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.

Love doesn't strut,

Doesn't have a swelled head,

Doesn't force itself on others,

Isn't always "me first,"

Doesn't fly off the handle,

Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn't revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best, Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies.

this is love.
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. " John 15:13

Thoughts from Ephesians

2005-01-03T23:01:00.000-08:00

"That you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints." Ephesians 1:18

"He has given some to be apostles..." Ephesians 4:11

The inheritance of the Lord, and His riches are in the saints. He has given people as gifts to the Body. The saints themselves are the treasures. The saints are the inheritance.
Paul prays that the Church's eyes would opened so that they would GET the richness or what they have in one another. To see one another, not just as humans, or comrades, but as treasures and gifts right from God.

Paul prays that they would know:

1.) the hope to which they have been called

2.) the glorious inheritance in the saints

3.) the power for us who believe

What is your hope?
Who are your gifts?
Where is your power?

2005-01-03T22:52:00.000-08:00

"Only God can keep all His promises."

My sweetie promised to call me tonight.
He never called.
That's a tough one for me, because I'm stuck in this place of 'if you say you're going to do something, you need to do it.' Integrity is a big deal to me. However, God's Word warns me specifically about that:

"It is better to trust the LORD than to put confidence in people.
It is better to trust the LORD than to put confidence in princes." Psalm 118:8-9 NLT

Not only must I avoid putting my trust in men over the Lord, I have to include those I hold in high esteem - even people like the General, or the Pope, those that I want with all of my heart to trust will always make the right decision - people like Stephen and Rob and Elaine...(!)
But the Lord says no. Some months ago He reminded me that no man pulled me out of the pit or sin, no man brought me into relationship with a Lover like no other. No man got me to where I am today. Only Jesus. Only Jesus.
For, “All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall"
But my Jesus is forever. Perfect forever. Loving forever. Faithful forever.
Amen.

2005-01-03T22:38:00.000-08:00

"The greatness of a man's power is the measure of his surrender." William Booth

To me, this speaks of the power of God that rests in us when we choose to surrender ourselves and be truly humble. When I choose to surrender my wordly right to be offended, or angry or hurt or entitled to some form of restitution.
It appears to be an easy move - surrender - when I'm blogging about it. Living it is something entirely different. I'm struggling. 25 years in the 'world', studying its values and surging ahead with its moral code has left me with programming that sickens me. I proclaim with Paul - "O what a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?"
In his commentary, Matthew Henry says this of Paul's words:

"Compared with the holy rule of conduct in the law of God, the apostle found himself so very far short of perfection, that he seemed to be carnal; like a man who is sold against his will to a hated master, from whom he cannot set himself at liberty. A real Christian unwillingly serves this hated master, yet cannot shake off the galling chain, till his powerful and gracious Friend above, rescues him."

And that is it - the closer I come to perfection, the more glaring are my imperfections and equally obvious is the evidence that I can do no thing to change my sinful state apart from the blood of Christ Jesus.

Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God–through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

"Believers may be chastened of the Lord, but will not be condemned with the world. By their union with Christ through faith, they are thus secured." Matthew Henry

Hallelujah.

Thoughts from 2 Timothy

2005-01-03T22:10:00.000-08:00

In verse 12, Paul writes that he trusts that Yahweh is able to guard all that he entrusts to Him - his life, future, plans, family, friends, ministry, etc.
Paul says to Timothy (young church-planter):

"Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you - guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us."

Let's look at that:
Guard - an action word - requires us to be intentional about being on guard against the enemy
Deposit - implies that what we've got is only a taste and that there is much more to come...
Entrusted - you entrust things to those who are found to be trustworthy servants and workmen approved
Help of the Holy Spirit - it's a tag team effort - us and Holy Spirit

After this big spiel, Paul then points out that two other guys (Phygelus and Hermogenes) who were working alongside of him ditched him - right after telling Timothy to guard his deposit. This fate of Phygelus and Hermogenes appears to be the outcome of those who don't guard themselves or work in submitted cooperation with Holy Spirit.

What does that mean to you? Are you more of a Timothy - eager to soak up the wisdom God has for you and willing to be disciplined and do what it takes to be productive in the Kingdom? Or do you have the sour flavour of Phygelus and Hermogenes - lovers of themselves and this world, submitted not to the Holy Spirit of the Living God, but instead making their gods their stomachs? Perhaps you are most like Paul - feeling abandoned by those whom you were pouring your life and teaching into. If so, keep at your work, this faith and love rooted in Christ. Amen.

Prophecy - a New Testament Definition

2005-01-03T22:08:00.000-08:00

Prophecy - men speaking from God as they are carried along by His Holy Spirit

2 Peter 1:21

Thoughts on Romans 1

2005-01-03T21:48:00.000-08:00

Paul speaks to the Romans about a 'certain type' of person. The type who knew God, but who wouldn't worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. The result was that their minds became dark and confused.
So who are these people?
They are those who have recognized, even through creation, the beauty of nature that there IS a Creator. However, they have chosen not to honour Him, or thank Him for what He has done. Instead, in pride, they make up their own ideas of what 'god' is like - making Him vague, or human or animal, disinterested or cruel. The result of their choice to worship their own god-image rather than the Living God is that their minds become dark. And confused. They claim to be wise, but they became utter fools instead, muttering incantations over jars of catguts or stones. Connecting with spiritual powers they do not understand, neither of which are they in control of as they assume they are. They worship idols made to look like mere people, or birds and animals and snakes instead of Yahweh. So He lets them go ahead and do whatever shameful things their hearts desire.

Instead of believing what they knew was the truth about God, they deliberately chose to believe lies.

That's a powerful statement. Imagine these people that Paul is writing about. You may be saying, "What terrible people He has been talking about!" Well, so did the Church at Rome. This is Paul's response to them:

"you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you do these very same things"

Do you find that shocking? Hard to swallow?
Why did Paul say that then and why do I bring it up now? For this reason my brothers and sisters:

13"For it is not merely knowing the law that brings God's approval."

You can't just KNOW the good that you should be doing...you can't just memorize the doctrines and not live them out. You can't just pray to Jesus and not follow Him with your own cross. Daily. On the outside AND on the inside, for: 16"The day will surely come when God, by Jesus Christ, will judge everyone's secret life. "

And on that day, there will be no hiding from the King of Kings.

The truth is, that:

25The Jewish ceremony of circumcision is worth something only if you obey God's law. But if you don't obey God's law, you are no better off than an uncircumcised Gentile.

And in the same way, the salvationist's Articles of War are meaningless and empty unless you obey the Word of God. Otherwise, you may as well be the next guy sitting at the bar nursing a Heineken, because you are NOT a true Salvationist, or even a Christian just because your parents were or because you went through corps cadets.

28"For you are not a true Jew just because you were born of Jewish parents or because you have gone through the Jewish ceremony of circumcision."

29"No, a true Jew is one whose heart is right with God. And true circumcision is not a cutting of the body but a change of heart produced by God's Spirit."

Change our hearts, O God...

Glory to God,
Ruhani

Thoughts on Romans 1

2005-01-03T21:36:00.000-08:00

Paul longed to see the Church in Rome so tht he could get together and impart a spiritual gift to them. Also to get together and mutually encourage one another by their faith.

Hmm.

I've just been home for a visit to my home church. In the months and weeks leading up to the visit, did I anticipate meeting with them to invite Holy Spirit to come and impart spiritual gifts?
No...
Did I plan a get-together with my brothers and sisters in Christ so that we could fellowship and share stories of what God is doing in our lives to mutually encourage one another and build up our faith through one another's testimonies?
No...
As a matter of fact, I asked to share with my home congregation and was denied because the service was already to 'full' and there would have been a possibility of the meeting running past the one hour standard.
Sad, but true.
However, as is the case when we let Him, Holy Spirit came upon me and I was able to share anyways, just before the closing song. Praise God. And as I stood and faced my family, all 200 of them in the pews around me and addressed them from my heart and through the Spirit and saw their faces uplifted, I was grieved in my Spirit that this kind of sharing is not commonplace in my church.
How are we meant to encourage one another if we don't even know what God is doing in each other's lives?

Worship in Heaven

2004-12-07T10:45:00.000-08:00

Revelation 4:1

"Then as I looked, I saw a door standing open in heaven, and the same voice I had heard before spoke to me with the sound of a mighty trumpet blast. The voice said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must happen after these things."

These are the beginnings of our brother John's Throne Room experience.
I was curious about a lot of what he had to say, so I began to do some background on the original Greek words used and to explore their fuller meaning. I submit this work to you for your consumption:

Then as I looked... I was wondering what 'looked' was all about, considering I don't get the impression that John just happened to notice, or casually saw. I believe that it is a participative action on our behalf to be actively seeking the things of God, and not just with our spiritual eyes, but also with our earthly eyes.
Strong's Number: 1492
Original Word - oºra/w
Definition:
*to perceive with the eyes, to perceive by any of the senses
*to perceive, notice, discern, discover
*to turn the eyes, the mind, the attention to anything
*to pay attention, observe
*to look at, behold
*to see i.e. have an interview with, to visit
*to know, i.e. get knowledge of, understand, perceive of any fact the force and meaning of something which has definite meaning
*to have regard for one, cherish, pay attention to

I saw a door standing open...what sort of door?
Strong's Number: 2374
Original Word: qu/ra
Definition:
*the vestibule
*used of any opening like a door, an entrance, way or passage into
in a parable or metaphor
*the door through which sheep go in and out, the name of him who brings salvation to those who follow his guidance
*"an open door" is used of the opportunity of doing something
*the door of the kingdom of heaven (likened to a palace) denotes the conditions which must be complied with in order to be received into the kingdom of God

Come UP here...
Strong's Number: 305
Original Word
nabaiðnw
Definition
*ascend
*to go up
*to rise, mount, be borne up, spring up

and I will show you what must take place...
Strong's Number: 1166
Original Word: deiðknumi
Definition:
*to show, expose to the eyes
metaph.
*to give evidence or proof of a thing
*to show by words or teach

The deal with these words is that with the exception of 'door' they are all verbs. Action words - where we are active in seeking what God has for us individually as well as corporately and He is active in opening our eyes to see the doors, to invite us up, to draw us in and to reveal His plans.

Look around - where's your door?

Ruhani

It's just not cool - I don't care who you are.

2004-11-28T18:55:00.000-08:00

Tonight as I was walking home from church, I witnessed a sight that both astounded and disgusted me. As I approached an alleyway, there was a young girl, perhaps in her early twenties with her hand covering her mouth as she peered into the dark hiddenness of the alley. As I drew nearer, I followed her gaze, curious to know what could be the source of this reaction.
There was a man standing beside the dumpster in plain view of passersby. There was no hiding the fact that he was urinating there. In my neighbourhood, it's not so extraordinary to observe a man using the alleyway as his lavatory, but what was disturbing about this man is that he was not one whom I would see on the corner selling dope, or pimping the young girl or being forced to the ground by police officers. They looked like they just walked out of a GAP commercial, and just because he could, he thought it would be funny to take a leak in the alley, and so he did, much to the amusement of his female companion who giggled as he zipped up his fly.

God spoke to me strongly through that bringing me to Galatians 5:13:

"But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature."

Although we condone it, it is not really OK for my neighbours to urinate in the alleyways, I wish they didn't have to, but quite often because of they circumstances they feel that they have little choice. However, it was certainly not OK for GAP boy to do it. He should've known better, because that's not how he had been taught to behave.

In the same way, God sees us act out in sin. He hates it on His lost children who may not know any better, and He still hates it on one of His redeemed sons or daughters.

ugly to Him when an addict takes a hoot off of a crack pipe. It's still ugly when a child of God takes the hit.
So don't do it.

It's ugly to Him when a pervert leers at a woman lustfully, imagining her in depraved sexual scenes. It's still ugly when a man of God leers.
So don't do it.

It's ugly to Him when an immoral woman will use her body as a means to beguile men. It's still ugly when the women of the church dress revealingly all in the name of 'fashion' at the expense of their visually stimulated brothers in Christ.
So don't do it.

We should know better.
"For you have been called to live in freedom--not freedom to satisfy your sinful nature"

Ruhani

2004-11-26T21:16:00.000-08:00

In Luke 6, there occurs a scene in which the disciples are walking through a field and because they are hungry, they begin to eat the grain that is there in front of them, freely and without fear of consequence, for Jesus was with them, nodding His approval.
The Pharisees, however, made a big stink about it, calling what they were doing "harvesting" (They rubbed the husks off with their hands and started eating the grain. v1) which is a ridiculous claim considering they weren't harvesting en masse to feed a village, only what would satisfy their hunger until they got to somebody's mother's house to eat a proper meal.
So what was the real issue here? It's the same old story of a bunch of legalists getting ticked off because someone with freedom through Christ comes along and unreservedly behaves in ways that they themselves could never imagine. Being locked into 'religion' rather than grace, they are envious of this glaring freedom.
To some Christians, ministry comes as naturally as walking casually through a field munching on a handful of grain, it's just part of an everyday lifestyle. Those 'Christians' who are fanatical about the Law see that and become angry and jealous and even become accusatory:

you can't do ministry like that, it's against Army
policy/tradition/spirit. It may offend other 'non-Christian
religious peoples' or endanger our governmental alliances."

Jesus uses King David as an example of someone who was revered and venerated and points out that he and his men were moving in the same spirit when they ate the sacred bread in the Temple. Then He continues by saying "I am the Master of the Sabbath" I say what goes.
How often do we eulogize our founders and their trailblazing, offensive ways with delight and yet turn around and condemn brothers and sisters in faith for following in the same spirit?

"The Holy Spirit of God will reveal to true Salvationists how they can exhibit that practical, loving and self-denying attitude to the straying, sinning and suffering world for which Christ died, which is the hallmark of the genuine Army spirit." Orders and Regulations for Soldiers Chapter 12, Section 1

Case closed.

Ruhani

2004-11-26T11:55:00.000-08:00

This morning I was filling in for a friend of mine facilitating a Christian discussion group. In prayer and through a dream the Lord directed me to bring the topic of 'Prayer for the Persecuted Church' to the table both to spark discussion on the Apostle Paul's writings in the book of Phillipians, to provoke prayer on behalf of our persecuted brothers and sisters globally and to gain fresh perspective on the ease of our more untroubled faith lives here in North America.
It all started off well, I presented what I had been hearing from the Lord and how it had challenged me. The others were engaged, nodding their heads in acquiescence and my heart rose in antipation of what God was going to reveal through us, His believers who had assembled to hear His Voice.
I was dismayed when I was coerced into playing 'referee' by the other members of the group. Somehow, a Spirit-led discussion focused on the adversity followers of Christ in other parts of the world face on a daily basis, dissolved into a God's kids bickering about their theories of salvation, forgiveness of sin, whether our sin really separates us from God, whether we need to ask for forgiveness. And on. And on.
Sadly, I had to come to terms with the reality that this discussion group wasn't going to get around to unselfishly considering others, or to be led into prayer on their behalf or even to commit to praying throughout the week in personal moments of prayer.
Nope - we argued and indoctrinated and catechized one another until our time was up.
I left feeling disappointed, because we had used our time to talk selfishly about topics that were high on our own agenda, but never made it to God's agenda.
The Lord spoke to me and revealed how often that happens in His personal relationship with me. He's ready to draw me someplace new, but I'm content to argue and banter about comfortable ideas, thereby missing out on growth and Holy Ghost's leading in my life.
By the Spirit, Jesus was led into the desert. (Luke 4:1)
By the Spirit, Paul was spurred on towards Jerusalem. (Acts 20:22)
By the Spirit, Philip was led exactly to where God wanted him to be. (Acts 8:39-40)

So let God and let God draw you in or out...or UP!

Ruhani

God is big enough

2004-11-25T22:28:00.000-08:00

In reading through the book of Ezra, I began to wonder how it is that Cyrus (King of Persia) ended up chipping in on the building supplies needed for the Temple of worship in Jerusalem.
The Matthew Henry Online Commentary says this:

"the Lord stirred up the spirit of Cyrus"

and:

"the hearts of kings are in the hand of the Lord."

This is powerful stuff! Do you get the fullness of that?

God can make any project happen.

He gives those who need to be involved the desire to participate. God moved King Cyrus to give a whole lot of stuff, which to him, barely made a dent in the palace treasury(1:9-10) but was exactly what the builders needed.

What stands out to me, is that nowhere in that Scripture does it say that Ezra had to go grovelling to Cyprus for help. There was no charming, bootlicking, sweet-talking or lunch at fancy restaurants to arouse him into making a donation to their religious cause.

God took care of business.
So, that being said, seeing as God is the same yesterday, today and always, I'd like to propone that as long as we are being 'about our Master's business' that He will provide for us in the same way that He provided for them.

However, as a Salvation Army, we'll never see it until we back off and let Him step in and move the hearts of the kings...

Ruhani

RESURRECTION!

2004-11-19T19:48:00.000-08:00

"I look death in the face practically every day I live. Do you think I'd do this if I wasn't convinced of your resurrection and mine as guaranteed by the resurrected Messiah Jesus? Do you think I was just trying to act heroic when I fought the wild beasts at Ephesus, hoping it wouldn't be the end of me? Not on your life! It's resurrection, resurrection, always resurrection, that undergirds what I do and say, the way I live." 1 Corinthians 15:31-32 MSG

So what's the use in going out and preaching the Gospel day after day and serving meal after meal and handing out coat after coat if this is it? If the only thing we have to look forward to is whatever small happiness we can elicit for ourselves here on this fallen earth?

It may be easy to fall into the attitude of the Epicureans - those who believed that we could gain knowledge of the world by solely relying upon our senses. They taught that the point of all one's actions in life was to attain pleasure (conceived of as tranquility) for oneself. Get whatever happiness you can while you're still kickin' and healthy enough to enjoy it. Get ahead in life. Get your little piece of heaven. As Christians, though, we believe that this world is not our home, so we shouldn't be making ourselves cozy in it. Instead, we ought to live an exemplary life among the non-believers so that our actions will refute their prejudices. (see 1 Peter 2:11-12 MSG)

No friends, instead, as you walk through the cold night looking for the woman who sells her body for drugs over and over, or endure yet another unclean spirit spewing impurity all over you when all you were doing was asking for prayer requests, remember the heavenly rewards that have been revealed to you.

So when it gets hard (maybe like it is now) use the promise of the eternal blessings as fuel for perseverance and "may the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance." 2 Thessalonians 3:5

2004-11-19T19:44:00.000-08:00

Just a thought...

"How can two people walk together unless they be agreed? That is, how can they walk together in harmony unless they are of the same opinion with respect to the road they travel, the calls they make and a good many other matters relating to the jouney." William Booth

I am initially drawn to 2 Corinthians 6:14 with this quote;
"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

But also, in all fairness, it's not just a marriage thing - which is how it is generally interpreted, but it's also a parnership thing.
Check out verse 16:
"What agreement is there between the Temple of God and idols?

Where in the Army do we come into agreement with other 'organizations' -who worship idols- just to increase our pool of resources? God have mercy on us, for what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?
What agreement is there between the Temple of God and idols?
Absolutely none.
No big deal you say?
What are the consequences to these sorts of alignments? The Old Testament is fraught with examples of the Israelites -a people set apart for God to display His love and righteousness to the nations- settling in and rubbing shoulders with the locals who worshipped all sorts of gods and who were involved in all sorts of dodgy and detestable worship practices (not just sacrifices of animals and children, but perverted sex acts, cutting their own flesh (bloodlust) and the list goes on). Jews were marrying into these families, taking on their rituals and generally becoming a people desecrated, all for the sake of increased land ownership, more exotic women...larger herds or maybe just because they were there. Do you catch my drift? Yahweh was prepared to meet every need His chosen people had forever. Instead, they chose to be yoked with unbelievers and have fellowship with darkness.
All very well and good you say Heather...but what are you getting at?
I suggest that there are occurences today in our Church where, in the interest of money and resources and distinction, we have partnered with people groups who worship false gods, who operate in ungodly business practices and support the promotion of lifestyles that Yahweh finds detestable.
It's not about being self-righteous. It's about being the Temple of the Living God. For God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God and they will be my people. 'Therefore come out from them and be separate says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you and you will be My sons and daughters' says the Lord Almighty." v16-18
He will be a Father to us - that means He will protect us from the one who comes to accuse us and to destroy us as we stand firm on His foundation. He will meet all of our physical needs as a Church - He won't deny us any more than a mother would deny her newborn the breast for nourishment.
Just as the Israelites made a hundred little decisions over time that led to their defilement, so have we made those same decisions. However, in the same way, through godly sorrow that leads to repentance, and then standing firm in Holy Spirit's resurrection p ower, we can break off alliances with the ungodly, and as we do, He will use us to display His love and righteousness to the nations.

posted by:
Heather Wright
The War College
Death and Glory

2004-11-18T13:20:00.000-08:00

"Shout it aloud, do not hold back. Raise your voice like a trumpet." Isaiah 58:1

God's Voice is compared to a trumpet blast at Mount Sinai:

"...and the sound of the trumpet grew louder and louder. Then Moses spoke and the Voice of God answered him." Exodus 19:19

"When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled in fear. They stayed at a distance and said to Moses; "Speak to us yourself and we will listen, but do not have God speak to us or we will die." Exodus 20:18-19

Some questions to stoke discussion:

*Why didn't the people want to hear His Voice?
Was it fear? Conviction? The overwhelming knowledge of their own sinfulness compared to the perfect holiness of the Living God?
They still wanted to know what He had to say, just not from Him. Hmmm...

These days, we ask to hear a Word from the Lord. However, when the time comes, do we actually want to hear Him speak? Or do we chicken out too? Who then will be our Moses and hear His Voice on our behalf?

What holds us back from the desire to hear God's Voice?
We are meant to learn from the mistakes of the children of Israel and ultimately as the Gentiles, our relationship with God is meant to make the Israelites envious for a personal relationship with the Living God, we aren't meant to follow in their footsteps at rejecting the Lord's desire for intimacy.

Ruhani

Psalm 84:10

2004-11-15T11:11:00.000-08:00

"For a day in Your house is better than a thousand outside. I would rather be the one who opens the door of the house of my God, than to live in the tents of the sinful."

There are times when I become discouraged. Thoughts steal their way into my mind, like crafty sower searching for fertile soil wherein to sow his spurious seed.

Thoughts like:

Am I really making a difference in my neighbourhood? It's so big and I'm so small.
If God hears all of my prayers, why aren't more people getting saved faster?
Is anyone's life really different because of Christ living in me, or am I just kidding myself?
Wouldn't it be easier to just go back to where I came from and get a normal job like everyone else?
Can I really rely on God to pull me through these times? Things just seem so difficult - do I trust enough?

These thoughts are seeds sown by the evil one in cooperation with my sinful nature with the purpose of taking root in my life and bearing wicked fruit, fruit that looks like this:

sexual immorality
impure thoughts
eagerness for lustful pleasure
idolatry
participation in demonic activities
hostility
quarreling
jealousy
outbursts of anger
selfish ambition
divisions
the feeling that everyone is wrong except those in your own little group
envy
drunkenness
wild parties

(from Galatians 5:19-21)

Now I don't know about you, but these sinful ways are not as far away from my everyday behaviour as I would like to believe. The evidence of even one of those results listed above in my life indicates that somewhere along the line, I have allowed the evil one to sow a seed of deception within me and it has taken root and I have fed it by coming into agreement with it, contemplating it, and perhaps even trying to convince others to buy into it. This leads me into misery and the Word says that anyone living this sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

That's serious stuff.

The Scriptural guard against the deceitful sower is this:

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5

That means that every thought, every argument, every pretense that currently exists in my mind that opposes the truth of God MUST be demolished. Torn down completely. Done away with entirely. As well, to avoid new growth, every thought that enters my mind that does not align itself with what God says is true and right must be taken captive and made obedient to Christ.

I imagine this to look like an undercover enemy spy who has made his way into my headquarters with the mission of setting off a string of explosives, ensuring my total destruction. If my sensors (Holy Spirit and Word of God) are on, the spy can be discovered and then taken as a prisoner of war and led to the ultimate authority, who is Christ and forced to submit to Him. Victory!
When satan plants the idea in my head that I am not making a difference here in the downtown eastside, and I may as well go back to who I was 3 years ago, instead of mulling it over and deciding for myself whether or not that is truth, I must seize this thought immediately, keep it under tight control and bring it right to Jesus, where He can speak the truth. When the truth comes, the lie is exposed and loses its power. What truth does Jesus speak to the lie that I am not making a difference as a Christian? He simply reminds me of what I was before I met Him. The futility of my life and the meaninglessness I felt. He draws to mind Psalm 84:10:

"Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked."

I don't ever want to return to the tents of the wicked - even if it means that I am merely a doorkeeper in the House of my God for the rest of my days, that in itself is the precious gift of eternal life. Life that produces eternal fruit and leads others to the Throne of Grace and renews gratitude towards my King for pulling me out of the slimy pit.

What has the enemy been planting in your backyard? What lies do you need to come out of agreement with? Have you become aware of the fruit that you've been displaying? Angry outbursts, jealousy, quarreling...and you are ready to turn from those wicked ways? It's not enough to just pray longer, read more of the Bible or attend more conferences. The enemy is planting weeds amongst the Master's wheat and if it is allowed to prosper, it will insidiously entangle itself amongst the good seed until the two are inseparable and to root out the weeds will damage the wheat. Therefore, ask Holy Spirit to reveal to you where you have allowed the enemy's seed to take root. Then repent. Ask God to forgive you for believing the father of lies over your Heavenly Father. Ask Him to tell you what the truth is and then in Jesus' Name, kick the enemy out. Know the truth, and the truth will set you free!

Root out the weeds! For Christ's sake!

Ruhani

Dying to Ourselves Daily

2004-11-14T23:44:00.000-08:00

"People love to talk of revival but seem to fail to grasp that things that need reviving are by definition close to death."

Revival, revival...we're crying out for it in the church. In The Salvation Army, we'll sing through verse upon verse of "Send the Fire" and get all stirred up in our inner man, but when we walk out the door of the corps, the lyrics may play in our minds, but the plea leaks out of our hearts. What's the truth? Jesus is coming back for a bride that is pure. Spotless. It would also be nice if she were breathing. Healthy. Does that describe the Church? Hardly.

What are we to do? First, recognize the truth - what is the truth? Try WHO is the Truth. That's Jesus. We are meant to be transforming more and more into His likeness with every passing moment, but how many of us are really being transformed? Is it for lack of asking? No. It is for a lack of receiving. Holy Spirit wants to do an incredible, transformational, resurrection power type of work in us, as individuals and as the body of Christ, but we need to recognize first that we are in need, to cry out with Paul

"What a wretched man I am! Who will save me from this body of death?" Romans 7:25

"Look down and see this waiting host
And send the promised Holy Ghost
We need another Pentecost,

Send the fire today"

Ruhani

The World for God?

2004-11-14T13:18:00.000-08:00

"The Salvation Army exists to share the love of Jesus Christ, meet human needs and be a transforming influence in the communities of our world."

Wow, powerful words. That's our MISSION STATEMENT folks! As an Army, that's what we're driving at, fueled by and existing to achieve. The part that captures me is the line that I shifted into italics - I am forced to linger on these thoughts.

Are we truly a transforming influence?
What would constitute an influence that was transformational?

What is transformational?

A marked change, as in appearance or character, usually for the better
To change the nature, function, or condition of;
To change in nature, disposition, heart, character, or the like; to convert.

(from www.thesaurus.com)

Hmm...to be honest, if each corps/community church were truly a transformational influence then wouldn't the world be won by now? Or at least much closer? Wouldn't the Christian church be facing increased persecution? I'm speaking mainly to the North American church here, because we are they who are running so closely alongside the worldculture that no one notices our witness except to be mildly amused by our WWJD bracelets.

Do you disagree? Are you outraged? Am I being too hard on you?
Then leave a comment and tell me what YOU are doing to be a transforming presence in your community. Maybe even just in your church or on your street, or in your own home. I'd like to know, I'd love the encouragement that the Army hasn't totally sold-out and earned it's title of 'social organization'.

Look, we've got to start somewhere, and time is growing short. It starts with you. The deal is that once you begin by embarking on a personal reformation, and begin to adopt a cleaner, more consecrated way of life all for the sake of bringing glory to God, others will see and be attracted to Jesus as He shines through you.

It's the whole 'be the change you want to see' thing. C'mon, the Newsboys sang about it, so it must be meaningful.

So let's get out of the pew, take off the headphones and interact with your community.
Do the things you are afraid to do.
Go ahead and step out, God's already gone before you, and He's got your back.

Ruhani