I hung out at home league camp last weekend. hmm. God really can use anything/anyone/anywhere to speak His purpose and will. for sure.

Here's what I heard. It was incredibly encouraging for this season too.

The speaker had done one of those appeals where first everyone closes their eyes and then raises their hand (with the promise of no one watching of course) and eventually leads you down to the front through a series of commitments to raising an arm, standing and moving forward.

So there I was. Here's where she snagged me:

"Are any of you hiding from God?"

bingo.

I haven't been meeting with Him, hungry for Him.
I have been hiding in the dark places of my heart. Afraid of what He's calling me into - of failing miserably and disappointing Him, or else afraid of actually doing it and there being even more that seems impossible ahead.
So I'm in this in-betweeny place and it's awful.
I prayed He wold 'shine light in those dark hiding places and meet me' and He has.

This is what He said specifically:

"Run hard and fast in faith"
"Heather, you are My follower. There is a cost to follow Me. Yet you have already counted the cost. Follow Me. You are My follower, that's all you need to think on now.'
I was at His feet, facedown. I looked up at Him and He asked me: "Do you love Me?" I rolled onto my back lke a babay rolling over and just stared up oblivious and unresponsible for any answers or behaviours.
I didn't like that in me.
With my head restingon His feet, He leaned down and picked me up, and a shadow of me was left in that babyish position.
He said: "You're not a baby. You're My child but you're not a baby. I'm calling you into maturity."
Then He just held on to me tightly and I was pressed against His chest. Security. Rest. Contentment.
I liked that.