I'm reading Hosea these last couple of days. 2 passages have stuck out to me as significant/instructional for me at the moment:
"Plant the good seeds of righteouesness and you will reap a crop of My loe; Plow the hard ground of your hearts for now is the time to seek the Lord, that He may come and shower salvation upon you." Hosea 10:12
It's not an easy thing, that tilling the ground of my own heart...it's something that I naturally lean on the Lord to do by a Spirit of conviction, or others to do for me through accountability and observation. In what ways can I assume a more active role in this process? What does that look like?
The other Scripture is this:
"Oh come back to the Lord, live by the principles of love and justice, and always be expecting much from Him, your God." Hosea 12:6
(these are drawn from The Living Bible, by the way, I decided to go old school!)
So what are the principles of love and justice? I just thought about love God with everything you have, and love your neighbor, as well as the 1 John passage, to love with actions and in truth...the justice, I think of Micah 6 - be fair and just and merciful, and walk humbly with God.
And then, 'expect much from Him, your God." What do I expect from God in the first place? Mostly just that He'd keep me happy and safe. I rarely ask for what's coming, nations, perspective and so on. Just living in the now.
This entire mindset became garishly apparent to me these last weeks as I take on my husband in Monopoly. He wins every stinkin' time, and why? Because he is not just thinking of 'now' he's thinking of 5 rolls from now. 20 min. from now. Looking at what I'm doing, where Im going, what properties I'm collecting and trying to thwart those plans, while prospering his own. Yup. Every time. He says it's 'the anointing' and he can't help himself but to win, and I actually agree with him - his spiritual giftings and callings apostolically have pre-disposed him to win at games that involve strategy, risk-taking and long term thinking - like Monopoly, but it also emphasizes my lack of those traits...
*sigh* maybe I should start praying in that direction. Not so that I can become just like Rob and win against him, but so that I can increase my general awareness of what is going on around me and up my ante/involvement in my own life. That can't be a bad thing at all.
Or we could just buy a new boardgame...
I find my Refuge in the sea
19.10.06
Counting the cost..it's a big deal, eh?
Back in the summer, I went to be a part of the Old Orchard Beach brigade. It was a good time. It was good to be with close friends and to be dusted off. One of the words of wisdom that was shared with me, was on that very subject...counting the cost. I was in a place where I felt like God was stretching me just too thin and I wasn't okay with it - and I'm not talking about being 'out of my comfort zone' but more like, God, I've always trusted you, but right now, it's all just a bit too much. Slow down please, I need a break. I need to pause and catch my breath and check out my surroundings and get some perspective.
The word was just this...it's okay to be in that place of pause. It's not letting go of God, it's not turning my back on Him, disagreeing with Him or backsliding...its saying hold on a sec please!
that was very reassuring to me...because I didn't feel as though I was being disobedient, but my legalistic self, my logical mind got me going, saying that I didn't love God enough, and didn't trust Him enough. blahblah.
If this whole Christian life is about relationship, not just works and blind obedience alone, then why would I think that my God, as a responsible Father, would grab me by the hand and begin to drag me along, lecturing me and chewing me out the whole way because I'm not 'good' enough or 'quick' enough or 'instantaneously obedient' enough...if what I preach to others is true, than God can't be like that.
So I'm learning to allow yourself to withdraw to a quiet place of retreat with Jesus and let myself believe that He'll love me just as much if I quit all of this and went to work at McDonalds (not that there is anything wrong with that...but i think it's safe to say that it's my your calling) for the rest of my life. He would. Wouldn't He? :-)
Therefore, I wil not let my fear not control me...but think on Love. There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment...if what's holding me back from going deeper is the fear that I won't measure up and why bother asking for a second blessing if I'm never going to be able to maintain it (for example) then I'm missing the love factor.
Fear wants me to be afraid of God's punishment when I mess up, but I shouldn't be afraid in that place, because even there, it's all about love. To not lose courage and give up and faint when I am reproved or corrected by Him; For the Lord corrects and disciplines everyone whom He loves, and He punishes, even scourges, every son whom He accepts and welcomes to His heart and cherishes.
That's a pretty special place to be, eh? Welcomed into His heart? Cherished? Wow. When you have a disciple, you want to keep them on a narrow track of discipline so that they can be trained in the Lord's ways. You will be quick to rebuke anger, hate, racism, gossip, self-deprecation, cursing, lewd comments and so on, right? Over and over until they get out of those old habits and into new ones. In the same way, God the Holy Spirit will be all over me to convict me of old habits over and over and over so that He can usher in new ones. The end result is GREAT!
When I look around me at other disciples, it's apparents that everyone gets the same process. So I take heart in that. And then I look forward and set my face like flint and know that I will not be put to shame...
Back in the summer, I went to be a part of the Old Orchard Beach brigade. It was a good time. It was good to be with close friends and to be dusted off. One of the words of wisdom that was shared with me, was on that very subject...counting the cost. I was in a place where I felt like God was stretching me just too thin and I wasn't okay with it - and I'm not talking about being 'out of my comfort zone' but more like, God, I've always trusted you, but right now, it's all just a bit too much. Slow down please, I need a break. I need to pause and catch my breath and check out my surroundings and get some perspective.
The word was just this...it's okay to be in that place of pause. It's not letting go of God, it's not turning my back on Him, disagreeing with Him or backsliding...its saying hold on a sec please!
that was very reassuring to me...because I didn't feel as though I was being disobedient, but my legalistic self, my logical mind got me going, saying that I didn't love God enough, and didn't trust Him enough. blahblah.
If this whole Christian life is about relationship, not just works and blind obedience alone, then why would I think that my God, as a responsible Father, would grab me by the hand and begin to drag me along, lecturing me and chewing me out the whole way because I'm not 'good' enough or 'quick' enough or 'instantaneously obedient' enough...if what I preach to others is true, than God can't be like that.
So I'm learning to allow yourself to withdraw to a quiet place of retreat with Jesus and let myself believe that He'll love me just as much if I quit all of this and went to work at McDonalds (not that there is anything wrong with that...but i think it's safe to say that it's my your calling) for the rest of my life. He would. Wouldn't He? :-)
Therefore, I wil not let my fear not control me...but think on Love. There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment...if what's holding me back from going deeper is the fear that I won't measure up and why bother asking for a second blessing if I'm never going to be able to maintain it (for example) then I'm missing the love factor.
Fear wants me to be afraid of God's punishment when I mess up, but I shouldn't be afraid in that place, because even there, it's all about love. To not lose courage and give up and faint when I am reproved or corrected by Him; For the Lord corrects and disciplines everyone whom He loves, and He punishes, even scourges, every son whom He accepts and welcomes to His heart and cherishes.
That's a pretty special place to be, eh? Welcomed into His heart? Cherished? Wow. When you have a disciple, you want to keep them on a narrow track of discipline so that they can be trained in the Lord's ways. You will be quick to rebuke anger, hate, racism, gossip, self-deprecation, cursing, lewd comments and so on, right? Over and over until they get out of those old habits and into new ones. In the same way, God the Holy Spirit will be all over me to convict me of old habits over and over and over so that He can usher in new ones. The end result is GREAT!
When I look around me at other disciples, it's apparents that everyone gets the same process. So I take heart in that. And then I look forward and set my face like flint and know that I will not be put to shame...